Friday, March 22, 2013

Oh, the pity of old age.....

Oh, the pity of old age.....

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. I stopped and asked him what was wrong. He said, "I have a 22 year old wife at home. She rubs my back every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee."

I said, "Well, then why are you crying?"

He said, "She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies, cleans the house and then watches sports TV with me for the rest of the afternoon."

I said, "Well, why are you crying?"

He said, "For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love with me until the wee hours"
I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?"

He sobbed, "I can't remember where the hell I live!"

Building The Worlds Largest Ship... Amazing....

Maersk and the Discovery Channel have joined forces to bring you every phase of constructing the 400-meter long Triple-E vessel. Visit http://worldslargestship.com/ to see more on the biggest container ship ever built.

Discovery Channel goes behind the scenes and into shipyards to explore the entire construction of the Triple-E, from the initial steel cutting ceremony to its maiden voyage.

This Would Be Cool... Especially if you could get the gun to fire live rounds...

Just Another Day..... Wait for it........

It's Not Quite Spring Like Weather Here Yet...

TGIF!

Seems Legit........

Rejected Direct Deposit No. 054835509176
"Маша.Романов@direct.nacha.org" [debugger064@jddygq.com]
Sent:	Thursday, March 21, 2013 8:30 PM
To:	"Irish"

Attn: Financial Department

We regret to notify you, that your most recent Direct Deposit payment (IN036300992447) was rejected,because your business software package was out of date. Please visit the secure section of our web site to see the details:

Click here for more information (I removed the link)

Please contact your financial institution to obtain the updated version of the software.

Best regards,

ACH Network Rules Department
NACHA - The Electronic Payments Association

11617 Sunrise Valley Drive, Suite 309
Herndon, VA 20167
Phone: 703-561-3513 Fax: 703-787-3625

###########################################

This was in my business email.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Sometimes.....

FTSIGH....

The Furious Frenchman Has To Take His Hand Off The Horn....

I called up The Furious Frenchman (FF) at lunch time today as I was running my truck through the car wash.

As I'm on the phone with him the conversation went like this:

ME: Hey what's up?

FF: Nothing, going to get a tuna sandwich.

ME: I'm grabbing a car wash, the truck is a mess.

FF: ( I hear horn beeping then an out burst) WHAT THE FUCK! they have a stop sign!

ME: What the hell are you doing?

FF: These cars keep going through the stop sign!

ME: Near the sub shop?

FF: YA! they are ..... OH wooops, it's a funeral.

ME: Dude, you need to relax.

FF: Ah ya, I'll take back the horn blowing.

ME: Good idea, enjoy your lunch :)

FF: Ok, see ya :)

Think GOLF!

Try and Hold Down Your Breakfast....

Members of The Party of Kumbaya Issues Death Threats To Protect THEONE

LINK Sheriff receives death threats after Obama joke

PLYMOUTH, Mass. (WHDH) -- A local sheriff is getting death threats after making controversial comments about the president.
The sheriff says it was supposed to be a joke, but some people are saying he went too far.
Plymouth County Sheriff Joe McDonald is refusing to step down despite criticism and death threats from around the world.
“[I will not resign] absolutely not. This is America and I don't see any criminal intent here nor do I see any criminal conduct,” Sheriff McDonald said.
The headlines started after Sheriff McDonald told a joke about President Obama meeting Abraham Lincoln during the Republican St. Patrick's Day breakfast in Scituate.
"Obama is looking at Abraham Lincoln adoringly and he says, ‘Please share your wisdom with me. What can I do to make this country a better place? And Lincoln looks him in the eye and he says, ‘Go to the theatre.’"
Sheriff McDonald was referring to when President Lincoln was assassinated in Ford's Theatre.
But he says its old joke told many times about many different presidents through the years.
“This was one of those unfortunate situations that some people took offense and as I said, for that I'm sorry -- I meant no harm, no offense, no harm to anybody physically or emotionally,” Sheriff McDonald said.
As his comments went viral, McDonald received hate mail and death threats from as far away as Europe.
“Those death threats you know my family is very concerned about those and I don't blame them,” Sheriff McDonald said.
He says he understands why people might be concerned, but he intended no harm.
“To the extent that those people who are unable for whatever reason to differentiate reality from political satire, if I've offended them I'm sorry about that but the joke was that -- it was joke,” said Sheriff McDonald.

Now go google "kill Bush"

Well It Looks Like I'm Welcoming Spring With a Cold...

....did I mention I hate being sick?

It's Thursday....

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

A G-nite Mega Post.......

LOTS MORE

CLICK HERE FOR MORE

Making A Popeye Cartoon In 1930....

AN IRISH GHOST STORY

This story happened a while ago in Dublin , and even though it
Sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale.....it's true.

... John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.

The night was rolling on and no cars went by.. The storm was so
Strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped.

John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got
Into the car and closed the door.....only to realize there was
Nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on.
The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and
Saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging
For his life. Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of
Nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel. John,
Paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the
Window, but never touched or harmed him.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE

A Rare Glimpse of an Australian Husky....

Soylent is Back... Link Below.. and....

..I turned off word verification for 2 hours and had 6 Spam emails so It's turned back on. Sorry.

Soylent is HERE

A Pigeon Named Barack....

Humpday... Hula Hoop ...Hotties....

Wednesday Morning Pondering....????

I was wondering if the citizens of Cyprus
have the right to bear arms?

Would they be taking the citizen's money?

Happy Vernal ( Spring ) Equinox....

Late Night Bad Motherfucker..... Frikken Awesome Video

I found this over at 90Ninety Miles From Tyranny
and had to share....

Biting Elbows - 'Bad Motherfucker' (Insane Office Escape 2) from Ilya Naishuller on Vimeo.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

G-nite....

click the mint for your treat...........

Adjusting Your Job Description for Tax Purposes...

A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs
to file her taxes.

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few
questions. What's your occupation?"

"I'm a Lady of the Night," she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "Let's try to
rephrase that."

The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl".

"No, that still won't work. Try again."

They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite
chicken farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a
prostitute?"

"Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year."

"Chicken Farmer it is." ......

MOOCHELLE goes to visit some red pandas...

Hoover your mouse over the gif animation to make it play. The sound is kinda weird so you can turn it down.

Vernal equinox my...cold butt

I got this in an email from one of my readers:

To all,
Tomorrow morning at 7:02am, vernal equinox, commonly known as spring, will officially be here in the Northern Hemisphere.
Spring?
Global warming?
Would someone please advise AlGore that global warming is sorely needed today as it just doesn't look anything like vernal equinox... Please note the two photos I just took of our warm, spring like backyard. This is northern Michigan, not the northern arctic.
Would someone tell the deer that AlGore screwed up and flunked out of divinity school and seemingly his latest attempt at education...

Bob

My My, How TImes Have Changed....

If "THEONE" had his way this would be the new sound of ~~marshal~~ MARTIAL law..

( I have been corrected)

Maintain Eye Contact.....

Now THIS is a Snowmobile.....

A Guy Stands His Ground Over a PICTURE of his kid... at Delware Open Carry

HERE IS THE LINK

NOTE>.. this is not me. It was a forum post I happened across earlier.

This it the beginning of the story:

The fight has officially been brought to my front door

Last night I was out with a buddy of mine. I got a text from my wife that the cops and dyfs are at the house and they wanna check out my guns and needed me to open my safe.
I'm instantly on my way. I get in contact with evan Nappen on the way. I explain the situation. I walk in my house and hand the phone to the first cop I see. Then direct all of em outside. Dyfs got a call because of a pic on my son holding a gun. They wanted to look around and check all my guns out, make sure they were all registered. Obviously that didn't go well because I refused. I had Nappen on speaker phone the entire time so they had to deal with both of us. They kept trying to pressure me to open my safe. They had no warrant, no charges, nothing. I didn't budge. I was told I was being "unreasonable" and that I was acting suspicious because I wouldn't open my safe. Told me they were gonna get a search warrant. Told em go ahead. Nappen (my lawyer) asked me for the dyfs workers name. she wouldnt give it. i asked for credentials and she wouldnt show em. i tried to take a pic of her and she turned around real fast and walked away. After a while of them threatening to take my kids, get warrants and intimidation they left. Empty handed and seeing nothing.

People it can happen that fast. Most people wouldn't have stood up to them like I did.