Friday, January 25, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Voices in the head...
A guy is at work when he hears a voice in his head.
Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money, and go to Las Vegas.
He ignores the voice, but it keeps coming back.
Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money, and go to Las Vegas.
Months go by, and the voice won't stop.
Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money, and go to Las Vegas.
Finally the guy can't take it anymore. He quits his job. He sells his house. He takes all the money and buys a plane ticket to Las Vegas.
The second the plane touches down, he hears the voice in his head:
Go to a casino.
He goes to a casino.
Find the roulette table.
He finds the roulette table.
Put everything on 17 Black.
He puts everything on 17 Black. The dealer spins the wheel. It comes up Red 36.
The voice in his head says: Fuck.
Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money, and go to Las Vegas.
He ignores the voice, but it keeps coming back.
Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money, and go to Las Vegas.
Months go by, and the voice won't stop.
Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money, and go to Las Vegas.
Finally the guy can't take it anymore. He quits his job. He sells his house. He takes all the money and buys a plane ticket to Las Vegas.
The second the plane touches down, he hears the voice in his head:
Go to a casino.
He goes to a casino.
Find the roulette table.
He finds the roulette table.
Put everything on 17 Black.
He puts everything on 17 Black. The dealer spins the wheel. It comes up Red 36.
The voice in his head says: Fuck.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets
Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'
And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.
And it was a good animal and God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.
And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.'
And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.
And they were comforted.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'
And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.'
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.
And Adam and Eve learned humility.
And they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased..
And Dog was happy.
And Cat . . .
didn't give a shit one way or the other.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Monday, January 21, 2013
Sunday, January 20, 2013
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