The
police department in the small hill country town of Kerrville,Texas,
reported finding a man's body last Saturday, early evening, in the
Pedernales River near the state highway 87 bridge. The dead man's name would not be released until his family had been notified.
The
victim apparently drowned due to excessive Bud Light consumption while
visiting "someone" in Fredericksburg. When he was found, he was wearing
black fishnet stockings, 10 inch spiked heels, a red garter belt, a
pink G-string, purple lipstick, dazzle dust on his eyelids, 2 1/2 inch
false eyelashes, and a Biden T-shirt.
The police removed the Biden T-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.
H/T to RR
Given the number of transplanted Californians who've moved into the Texas Hill Country (and ruined it), I'd more believe that story if he was drunk on wine coolers. But otherwise totally believable, there's a hippie culture up there still brewing from the 60's.
ReplyDeleteI kinda think the " drowning from excessive beer consumption " was like the old Southern version of " stealing more chain than he could swim with ".
ReplyDeletemy wife and i had been going to the hill country since the early 80s. austin, fredericksburg, kerrville, junction, lake buchanan, canyon lake. i went there as a kid with my parents, and later with friends in high school. lots of good memories. but michael dell and the californians have ruined it all. now it's houston with hills and people are moving in faster than the aquifers can recharge. they're gonna have water issues soon if they don't already.
ReplyDeleteThey do already. Lake Hills residents have had to deepen their water wells in the past few months as the water table has dropped. All the rich folks moving in wanting pools in their yards no doubt has something to do with it.
DeleteKerrville isn’t THAT small! It’s not some quaint hamlet.
ReplyDelete24,000 and change.
DeleteOh, I think the embarrassment is a requirement.
ReplyDeleteAn old joke going back as far as Bill Clinton or may Obama. Not sure which, but still an old joke.
ReplyDeleteIt is a true story just not in Kerrville Texas but you forgot to post the link
ReplyDeleteJoke would be more powerful if the geography were not mangled. Kerrville's river is the Guadalupe, not the Pedernales. Highway 87 crosses the Pedernales about 10 miles south of Fredericksburg, not near Kerrville. Further south, 87 crosses the Guadalupe in Comfort, downstream of Kerrville.
ReplyDeleteLC LtC
Texas Hill Country
You beat me to it. Grew up in the Hill Country and the geography makes no sense but other than that, if it ain't true, it oughta be!
DeleteCalifornians (et al) infiltrating and bringing their diseases with them
ReplyDeleteDo not touch the body; isolate it within a virus-proof barrier and incinerate at 1000º F.
I dispute that the queerdo was found in Texas, even though it allegedly was near queerstin....the state queerpital....
ReplyDeleteI say it was found floating in the Rio near Santa Fe....
I stole this and will shamelessly share among like minded folk.
ReplyDeleteHi Irish!!!!,
ReplyDeleteSounds like his partying got "outa' hand" after he* and who ever he was with after they went t the "Barbi Doll Movie" as they were trying to mimick her!!!! Good job!! all the Makeup stuck!!!!! To bad it wasn't Dylan Mulveneigh or however he calls (himself**)!!!!!! hhhahahahahahhhhhHhHhaaaaah!!!!
skybill
(*) Don't ask me what the "Preferred Pronoun" is under penalty of 10 years to life in prison for pissing him off!!.... Really, I don't care
(**) read the above....
Hi Irish....,
ReplyDeleteHope my last comment wasn't tooo "Harsh????"
skybill
Hi Irish,,,!!,
DeleteI just hope that the person found floating face down "as described" .. at least!!!,,,!!! was at least as "trim and fit" as yer' average "Pole Dancer" in any up scale Strip Club...... or at least ..."close!!"
Lately we have had a few who looked like Hippopotamuses thinking they were "Barbi Doll's!!!!" First off, don't think there has been a "HIPPO-BARBI!!!!".......... "Yet???'
but I digress... at east the twenty something year old MALE camping as a 12 year old pre- pubescent girl that convinced the "In Bev" hiarchy that he was their avenue to megamillions ..that "guy!!!" at least was somewhat "Trim"
The defense rests!!!!!
skybill
Make it a Zima overdose with a Dylan Mc for preezy of the steezy shirt and hopey changey buttplug.
ReplyDeleteGood and funny stories are always appreciated, while watching the world burns! I shared it to like minded nuts like me
ReplyDelete