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Monday, February 18, 2013

A Tale of An Evil Gun....

Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Stevens 320 right in the doorway. I gave it 5 shells, and noticing that it had no legs, even placed it in my... wheelchair to help it get around. I then left it alone and went about my business. While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house. After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it. It hadn’t rolled itself outside. It certainly hadn’t killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn’t even loaded itself. Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong, and it’s the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people, or I'm in possession of the laziest gun in the world. Alright, well I’m off to check on my spoons. I hear they’re making people fat.
(This is meant to make a point, not to be a literal representation of events. No gun was actually left unattended, just as no spoons were actually checked on. If you cannot grasp this, then you are more dense than the metal the gun is made from. Thank you.)

From a friend of reader "wildriver"


  1. Silly gun crazed, right wing, Irishman, anyone could tell that the cunning devil was just waiting for the moment when you let your guard down.

  2. A few years back there was a site and the only thing on the site was a gun and a day counter showing how many days that the gun did not do anything wrong.
    Wonder if that site is still going?

  3. Funny...I have a Stevens 350 and is similar in its inability to do a darned thing. It just sits in my closet napping. I think the Stevens, the Winchesters, Magnum Research and Anschutz have collaborated to go on strike.

  4. outstanding! the rat

  5. Not a single gun I own has ever killed anybody.

    I think they're defective.

  6. Hey, I just got one of those, Stevens 320, have not test fired it as of yet, its a cheap gun, anyone have any problems?


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