Thursday, June 9, 2022

Why Grandpas are better...





Have you ever wondered what the difference is

between Grandmothers and Grandfathers


Well, here it is:


There was this loving grandfather who always made a

special effort to spend time with his son's family

on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take

his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the

car for some quality time -- pancakes, ice cream,

candy -- just him and his granddaughter.


One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible

cold and could not get out of bed. He knew his

granddaughter always looked forward to their drives

and would be very disappointed.


Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that

she would take their granddaughter for her weekly

drive and breakfast.


When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran

upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in

bed. "Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?"

he asked.


"Not really, Pa Pa, it was boring. We didn't see a

single asshole, queer, piece of shit, horse's ass,

socialist left wing Biden lover, blind bastard, dip

shit, Muslim camel humper, pecker head or son of a

bitch anywhere we went. We just drove around and

Grandma smiled at everyone she saw. I really didn't

have any fun.”



h/t to Joe B.



  1. yea, grandpas can be a problem. my daughter in law doesn't want me to teach my grandson how to blow things up.
    why, I have no idea ? and she kind of worried about the hand to hand classes as well. kid seems okay with it though.
    this year we going to the big boy range- 600 yards. he got the 100 yard one down pat, need to teach him how to reach out a bit more,, looks to be a fun time.

  2. I guess I am going to have to change my verbal skill set to achieve greatness when that time finally comes.

    Thanks for the Joe B. I will be laughing my ass off for a while now.

  3. Thanks for the laugh, didn't see that coming.

  4. That put a smile on my face. And in my opinion, pecker head is an underused term.

    My list would have had c_nt and douchebag.

    Can't wait to pass on the man-skills to my grandkids. It was fun enough with my kids.

  5. OK - - Who told on my PaPaw??

  6. I rode the tractor with my grandpa. Stood on the axle,arms wide, holding the fender. I could hear the sand bouncing off of his ear,as he gritted teeth and repeated
    God damn mother fukkin son of a god damn mother fukkin son of a bitch. I had such a foul mouth older kids at school would ask me to cuss for them. Amazingly, either the parents didn't know what kind of vocabulary I had or they didn't want to talk about it. Loved that raspy old dude.
    If you're not up to speed on farmers, they are very judgemental. Keeping straight rows matters a lot more than pain. I asked him why he didn't use a hand to protect his ear when the wind was driving sand into the side of his head. He said he had to keep both hands on the wheel to keep his rows straight.
    I'm gonna be using peckerhead ..

  7. This is what's wrong with the world , not enough grandfather's speaking their mind , men not worried about hurting others feelings , an as whole is a awhile and needs telling so !

  8. My grandson is, he comes over for the weekends. We have our routine; work/play, dinner, bath, tv time and bed. It had been a productive day and we finally got to tv time. I sat in my recliner and grandson climb up bedside me. I stretched long and hard and said "Son of a bitch!" then I hear this little voice next to me "Somebitch!"

    Those are the moments that make a Grandpa proud!

  9. Peckerhead? That's where you make the connection to the motor.

  10. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
    Needed that !

  11. It was 1955 and I was in the garage with Grandpa scraping sludge out of an oil pan Gramps was working on . One of the neighborhood winos came in and started trying to bum Gramps for a dollar so he could get him " a taste " . He kept up his plea for several minutes until all at once my Grandpa exploded and grabbed him by the collar and ass and ran towards the open garage door throwing him forcefully headlong into the gravel alley . He was dazed and bleeding but that didn't stop him from running down that alley at an admirable pace . Gramps apologized to me for losing his temper and we went back to work . My Grandpa walked on water .

  12. Cock monger is a particularly well used term in this household.

  13. My 6 year old Grandson got in trouble at school for telling the playground monitor "$hit, that's a big dirt pile over there". I told my daughter-in-law I don't see the problem. I drove by yesterday and it is a big f..kin pile.


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