Saturday, July 9, 2011

Enjoy Your Evening....

You're Royal Hein-ass.....

I really don't give two shits about the royalty... what they do or where they go..

But I had to share this :

TORONTO - It wasn’t the royal honey ‘moon’ Canadians were expecting.
Prince William’s bride had a brief skirt-lifting experience when a prairie breeze hiked her dress almost to the waist.
QMI Agency’s national photographer Andre Forget was following the royal couple at Calgary’s Airport when he captured Duchess Kate’s barely-seen Marilyn Monroe moment — far from any admiring crowd.
It happened Thursday after the royal couple were flown in a military helicopter from Lake Louise, Alta., where they spent the previous night at a nearby lodge.

Front View for those playing at home...........

Friday, July 8, 2011

Medical distinction between Guts and Balls

There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls.  

We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning,  or are you flying somewhere?'

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically, speaking there is No difference in the outcome.

Both result in death.

New... Firefox add-on

Monitor Cleaning..............

The Group....

The  Group
A group of 15-year old teen boys discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they only had $6.00 between them and Joannie Johnson, that cute girl in Social Studies, lived on that street and they might see her. And also they could ride their bikes there.

Ten years later, the group of 25-year-old guys discussed where they should  meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at  the Ocean View restaurant near the Dairy Queen because the beer was cheap, they had free snacks, the band was good, there was no cover and there were lots of cute girls.                         

Ten years later, at 35 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the booze was good, it was right near the gym, and if they went late enough there wouldn't be any whiny little kids.

Ten years later, at 45 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the martinis were big and the waitresses were young and wore tight pants. 

Ten years later, at 55 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the prices were reasonable, the wine list wasn't bad and fish is good for your cholesterol. 

Ten years later, at 65 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the lighting was good, the menu had large type, and the Ocean View had a pretty good early bird special.

Ten years later, at 75 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food wasn't spicy and the restaurant was handicapped accessible.

Ten years later, at 85 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.

I Thought I Heard Voices.......

They were a bit muffled BUT I finally figured out where they were coming from.....

"We are in here!!" "Help!!" "We are Ice Cold!!!".......

Its almost beer:30,  I think I will help them out soon......

Do You Recognize The Name "Nostromo"?

Alien is still one of the best movies ever......

This is a 10-minute version of the work Grant McCune Design's modelers did to restore the Nostromo from the original "Alien" movie. The Nostromo is now in it's home at the Prop Store of London's LA facility.

She Wins... with-out even plugging in the Guitar....

Thursday, July 7, 2011


A Muslim kid can't find his mother in the supermarket.

The store attendant says ''What does your mother look like?''

The kid says "How the Hell should I know?"

Set the Wayback Machine to Belfast...3/31/1909


Tee Time.....

When you read this I'll be teeing off in Salem Ma. I hope this doesn't happen tonight.....

Who The Hell Would Do Something SOOO Stupid..... to leave a pair of shoes in the hallway like that!!
Someone could trip over them or break an ankle stepping on them.

When the Internet Crashes......

and you are still needing your fix of LOLCATS....

This will be the new technique to deliver them to you... at the speed of wind.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Please Help if You Can......

Hundreds of Professional Football players in our very own nation are going to be locked out, forced through no fault if their own to live at well below the seven-figure salary level they have been receiving. And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life-giving pay for several months, possibly even longer, as a result of the upcoming lockout situation. But here'a the GOOD news -- YOU can help!

For only $27,080 a month, only about $902.75 a day (that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV), you can help an NFL player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem totally, as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it IS a start, and every little bit helps!

Although $900 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a football player it could mean the difference between spending the lockout golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, nine hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, a mortgage payment, or a month of medical insurance, but to a football player, $900 will partially replace his daily salary.
Your commitment of only $900 a day will enable a player to buy that badly needed home entertainment center, trade in his year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio .

Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.

Your NFL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

I would like to sponsor a locked-out NFL player. My preference is (check below):
[ ] Offense [ ] Defense [ ] Special Teams [ ] Entire team
Please charge the account listed below $902.75 per day for the duration of the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player and my very own Roger Goodell (NFL Commissioner) pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).
Your Name:____________________Telephone Number:___________________
Account Number:__________________Exp.Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other
Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):
Account Number:_______________________ Exp.Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

PS. If you have a little extra, in your charity would you please enclose something for the needy cheerleaders. Contrary to public opinion, cheerleaders ARE people too.

That Reminds Me.......

..... I gotta get my truck washed

.50 Cal Shockwave*.....

* I have no idea if its a .50 or not....

Movie Quiz......

Try this test and find out what movie is your favorite.

This amazing math quiz can likely predict which of 18 movies you would enjoy the most.

It really works!

Movie Test:

Pick a number from 1-9.

Multiply by 3.

Add 3.

Multiply by 3 again.

Now add the two digits of your answer together to find your predicted favorite movie in the list of 18 movies below.

The HULC...Cool New Exoskeleton

The HULC is a completely un-tethered, hydraulic-powered anthropomorphic exoskeleton that provides users with the ability to carry loads of up to 200 lbs for extended periods of time* and over all terrains. Its flexible design allows for deep squats, crawls and upper-body lifting. There is no joystick or other control mechanism. The exoskeleton senses what users want to do and where they want to go.

* maybe "TheOne" can use it to cart "her" ass around Martha's Vineyard


TheOnesDay® *

Critics say that Presidential candidate Barack Obama tries to "be all things to all people" and that he makes too many "pie-in-the-sky" promises. At a recent political rally, Obama tried to overcome these criticisms by emphasizing his commitment to principles. Afterwards, audience members lined up at a microphone to ask Obama questions.

The first person at the microphone said, "I oppose the war in Iraq. If you are re-elected, what will you do about that?"

"I will end the war in Iraq within two weeks ," answered Obama. "All our troops will come home, and I will simultaneously make sure the Iraqi government is functioning and secure."

The second person in line said, "I'm an illegal alien. What will you do for people like me?"

"If I am re-elected," answered Obama, "every illegal alien will receive U.S. citizenship, free health coverage, and a scholarship to the university of your choice."

The third person in line said, "I'm a conservative. If elected, what will you do for

"I'll send that first guy to Iraq, and the second guy back to Mexico."


Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Motorcycle Rant......

Seriously... I mean REALLY serious.. do YOU, fellow rider, feel any tougher with your foot peg just above the double yellow line?

In the past few weeks I have had the luxury of seeing both male and female riders hugging the center line in undivided traffic. Closing speeds of 70 to 110 mph.

One little hiccup and your left leg will be completely torn off let alone losing your life. IS is worth it?

I just don't get it?

Back to Work Earworm After a Long Weekend............