Breathless Anticipation... TheOnesDay

Theonesday is registered to "BOREPATCH"

The Parrot.... TheOne'sday.....

TheOnesDay® *.......

A man goes to the White House and asks to see President Obama...

The Marine on duty tells the guy that Obama isn't President, and to please leave. The man goes away.

The next day he comes back to the White House and asks to see
President Obama. The marine on duty reminds him that Obama is not President, and to please go away.

The man goes away. The next day, he comes back again, and again the same Marine is on duty. The man asks to see President Obama , and the Marine, his patience worn out, says, "WHY DO YOU KEEP COMING HERE ASKING FOR HIM? OBAMA IS NOT PRESIDENT ANYMORE!!!"

The man smiles and says, "I know, I just like hearing you say it."

HT to reader Kell :) 

*registered to "Borepatch"

TheOnesDay® *.......

Obummer walks into Doctors office with frog on his head.

Doctor = May I help you?

Frog = Yeah, you can remove this growth from my A$$.


H/T to reader KELLY :) thanks


*registered to "BOREPATCH" 

TheOnesDay® *.... a twofer

"king putt" courtesy of 
Gimme a Break, I'm just a Hobbit  a commenter at Weasel Zippers

The ONES Day*.....

Obama looked at Michelle, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy." Michelle shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy". Hearing their exchange, the pilot of plane said to his co-pilot,"Such big-shots back there. I could throw both of them out of the window and make 256 million people very happy."!!

I know its early in the morning for such a scary picture so I will offer you this..... 

TheOnesDay® *

John McCain, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama all die and go to heaven. God looks down from his throne and asks McCain, “Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?”

McCain takes a breath and then replies, “Well, I think so because I was a great leader and tried to follow the words in your great book.” God looks down and then says, “You can sit to my left side.”

So, McCain takes his seat and then God asks the same question to Hillary, “Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?” Hillary thinks for a second and then replies, “I think so because I have been fighting for the rights of so many people for so long.” God again looks down and this time says, “You can sit to my right side.”

Finally God turns to Barack Obama and asks, “Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?”
Obama smiled and replied, “I think you’re in my seat.”


*TheOnesDay® Meme - Borepatch , UncleJay and Coop

TheOnesDay® *

Barack Obama, at a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas , asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence,  he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence..

Then Obama said into the microphone, "Children, uh, every time I, uh,  clap my hands together, a, uh, child in America dies from, uh, gun violence."

Little Richard Earl, with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said, '' Well, dummy, stop clapping!"

*registered to "BOREPATCH"

Movie Quiz......

Try this test and find out what movie is your favorite.

This amazing math quiz can likely predict which of 18 movies you would enjoy the most.

It really works!

Movie Test:

Pick a number from 1-9.

Multiply by 3.

Add 3.

Multiply by 3 again.

Now add the two digits of your answer together to find your predicted favorite movie in the list of 18 movies below.

TheOnesDay® *

One day in the future, Barack Obama has a heart-attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

“I don’t know what to do here,” says the devil. “You are on my list, but I have no room. You definitely were meant to be here, so I tell you what I’m going to do. I’ve got a few folks here who weren’t quite as useless as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place, I’ll even let YOU choose who leaves.”

Obama thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dove in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.

“No,” Obama said. “I don’t think so. I’m a weak swimmer, and I don’t think I could do that all day long.”

The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

“No, this is no good; I’ve got this problem with my weak shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day,” commented Obama.

The devil opened a third door. Through it, Obama saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Obama looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, “Yeah man, I can handle this.” The devil smiled and said .. . . . .

TheOnesDay® *

Borrowed gratiouly from "HERE"


and keeping up with Borepatch, TBG, and Coop.

TheOnesDay® *

Borepatch,afatheroffour,listentounclejay