Saturday, November 20, 2021

and, That's When The Fight Started.... Or, How Irish Spent his time in the cold and dark........

 The sun goes down faster than Kameltoe Harlot. It was about 3:30pm and the sun was behind the trees causing the temps to drop. I had the shit-cart ready to dump in the manure pile and wanted to pick up all the trimmings that I had cut from the annuals.

The pull cart was in one hand and the rake in the other when suddenly I heard horses squealing and wood breaking. As I looked up, "Charlie" the "Bosses" horse had pushed through the riding ring fence and was ears-pinned in hot pursuit of "Hades". Charlie is the alpha and he wanted the hay that I had given Hades since Hades was locked in the riding ring and Charlie was grazing all day.  The fencing is nailed from the inside out so pushing out of the riding ring it won't give, unless your in rapid flight mode.

 The fence posts are rotted, (I now realize how bad) so pushing against the fence rail from the outside in just pushed the nails out.

Here's our Team Line up:

So Hades was penned in and had hay and water. Charlie was not having any of that. He was hungry and wanted the hay.  This is the layout from above. You can see the riding ring and where the players were standing when the shit went sideways.  I had placed hay and a water bucket in the ring because we don't allow Hades and Charlie to be together. There is one other older Thoroughbred that gets along with either. He needs a helmet and licks windows but he's sweet. His name is Koolie but I call him 

"Fuck-tard".  He wasn't involved in this.

So Hades is standing at the X

Charlie was in-between the fence lines and pushed through at the X

I was standing at X when I heard the SHTF

It was over in an instant. I heard a scared squeal and wood cracking. Charlie , ears pinned, chasing Hades as Hades bucked. He bee-lined across the riding ring and like one of Santa's reindeer, took flight.

I had to blink.  He had almost cleared the close to 6 foot fence marked X

For scale. That's a double horse trailer to the right just under the words "in the riding ring".

I ran to the fence line and was yelling at Charlie. He was wound up and Hades was up in the corner of the field probably pissing himself.

This is what I was greeted with. The 4x4 post is a true 4x4 not the new stuff. It's very punky so the rails just pushed out as Charlie tried to get to the hay in the foreground. I was standing about 40 feet back in the upper right near the yellow thingy.

So Charlie pushed through coming towards you and Hades turned and said "Fuck that, I 'm outta here!"

He cleared this

I messed up the image edit.... "JUST UNDER 6 FEET TALL"

So, Charlie is now stuck in the riding ring and Hades is free.  Koolie is running around just because everyone else is.

After a bit I grabbed Hades halter and put him in the barn.  I went back to assess the damage and realized the next 2-3 hours , would put me in the pitch dark repairing the fence.

As I stood there Charlie looked at me and I looked at him and this is what I envisioned:


"Just kidding Honey :)  "

So a few hours later repairs were made.

 I was working with the light from my rechargable Husky Headlamp. I love that thing.

After feeding them I came in, took a hot shower, grabbed a beer and wrote this post.

Have a great Sunday!!


  1. They shoot horses, don't they??

  2. The minute i discovered motorcycles I quit hay burners

  3. I once had horses. After years of their treachery, I realized even a good horse can kill you on a bad day. I sold them all, and am hesitant to even look at them.

  4. There will always be an Alpha - whether it's two horses or twenty. Follow Rick on "Think like a horse" on YouTube. Great stuff! You did a good job on the fence - horses are strong!

  5. I have absolutely no use for them fucking things.
    I have a similar story, babysitting my Aunt and Uncle's horses and my cousin Katy's horse, Lindy.
    Lindy was like Charlie, Grade A Asshole, except she was a Bitch. This was twenty five years ago and I can still remember that damn horse's name. That should tell you something.
    Fucker tried to kill me more than once.
    I went over there to check on them and feed them one day and Lindy pulled a Charlie, she saw me feeding one of the other horses and wanted what he was having. They were both in their outside pens.
    That fucking bitch literally DESTROYED that pen.
    Started kicking her back legs and wood went flying everywhere.
    She knocked down one whole side of the pen, got out, turned around and started kicking in the pen the other horse was in.
    It freaked out, I was already freaking out and it destroyed THAT section too. There was splintered wood everywhere.
    The other horse fled for it's life and I started looking around for a hunk of 2X4 so I could have a very short conversation with the fucking She Devil Lindy.
    Bitch must have seen the murder in my eyes because she grabbed a quarter bale of Alfalfa in her mouth and high tailed it out into the pasture.
    Four hours for me to kind of get the shit nailed back together, got the one horse back in the barn and that Fucking Lindy was having none of it.
    I chased that bitch all over that pasture with that hunk of 2X4 until she had finally had enough fun and trotted right into the barn and into her stall.
    I think Lindy had a headache the next day after I threw the broken 2X4 pieces into the debris pile with the rest of it.
    I feel ya Irish, I really, truly, feel ya man.

  6. Why I liked my mules...drama isn't as intense.

  7. I was attempting to date a Lass, Boss man had a horse. He'd had it for 15 years, it wasn't being rid much anymore.
    She came out and had a good session with it. Great, I've got an In with her!
    Damn if the horse didn't drop dead 2-3 days later.


  8. Good telling of the tale, Irish! I know it wasn't what you would call entertaining to experience, but it was a hell of a hoot to read!

  9. You're a good guy for takin care of those horses. The vet in my area takes care of quite a few that came from bad circumstances. Probably why my vet bills always seem a bit steep too. They're beautiful and smart animals with personalities like people. Ohio Guy

  10. Three words: electric fucking fence.
    Put that on the rails and they will develop a healthy respect for boundary lines.

    Whitehall, NY

    1. Sorry Leigh doesn't always work and can in some cases make the situation worse. Seen the troubles with my own eyes.

      Horses are an emotional animal. Decisions like OW that wire Hurts doesn't always process well, as they thrash around and cut themselves up with the wires.

      Horse owners are a special breed, they care beyond what is rational and I respect that. Like the Momma that will try to kill a street thug to protect her baby level special.

      Me, I'll stick with cattle for massive power and solar recharged for the rest post gasoline era. I've pulled stumps with a pair of young milk cows. THAT's Power.

    2. My family has had electric fences and horses for years. Never had any go postal. Besides fence wire is smooth, some is even basically nylon rope; no cut risk. If a stupid Holstein can figure out what that white line is, so can a horse.
      As for me, I prefer my horses 300+ at a time. No room for hay burners around here.

      Whitehall, NY

  11. Ima city boy, Irish. Never had horses. Lotsa people like me dream of having them, but tails just like you told are what I always think of when I consider having some. They can be great animals true, but you have to take care of them every day or you're an asshole. Too few think that through.
    (Don't get me wrong: 22 years in uniform. I've spent plenty of time in the sticks, just never farmed or kept animals ...doesn't mean I'm blind to what it means though.)
    Good story! Thanks for sharing!

  12. What Leigh said. I take it there were was no blood spilled despite the looks of the broken lumber. Nemo

  13. Gonna have drama. Even with just one.

  14. Beach riding access, cool. Putting that on my bucket list.

  15. To hell with fences, let that fucker run away. He can live wherever he wants.

  16. When my neighbor dropped me off from deer hunting I noticed two of his horse were in the free standing barn and one was out in the rain. I said you have two smart horses on one dumb one. He said no, the two won't let the third one in the barn if it rains.
    The three are a mom and two daughters. Go figure.

  17. The French are right, horses are for eating. I was 6-7 years old and my chores were feeding 9 horses, I'd be breaking off sheaves of hay to spread, the hairs on my neck started going off, looked behind me at a horse with his head twisted sideways coming in for the horse bite. Every day.
    You cannot believe how much horseshit 9 horses produce. I've been bucked off, stomped, scraped off on trees, a bunch of attempts to roll on me. I don't like horses. I love motorcycles. Start the barbeque, its whats for dinner...Horse meat!!!

  18. Used to have a Morgan breeding farm as well as boarding horses on the property. The horses always managed to create massive levels of mischief at the drop of the hat. Always protecting the 'boarders' from my crew or rather, preventing the boarders from getting into something they would regret and I would have to explain later.

    It was fun but I would not do it again or at least not at this age. Way too much work.


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