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Tuesday, May 11, 2021

When Life Gives You Pause

  

  I reached out to a friend of mine last night via text message. He was a salesman for all my plastic

needs when I owned my shop. We got along well and would chat regularly about, plastic, golf

Aruba, you know, the kind of shit you chat about.  I sold off in 2017 to take my current position and

we fell out of touch as life sometimes does that to you. He retired in 2019 and we would catch up every 

6 to 12 months.  

 Yesterday, we had some HDPE bench tops quoted at work and the lead time was 8 weeks

 from the "preferred" supplier.

I figured I would hit Ray up and get a recommendation for a better supplier.

My text at 5:45pm was, "Hey Ray, you around?"

I got a voicemail around 7:30pm

" Hey John, it's Ray. I just noticed your text. I got a bad situation going on.

 I just left the wake for my wife and we are burying her tomorrow. Call me in a bit or I'll get

 back to you."

 

Irish stares at his phone. Wha.....??

 

 

I called him back to offer my condolences and to check on him. He answered right away and I think

he was happy to hear from me. We chatted a bit and he told be what happened.

Two months ago she didn't feel well. Finally went to the Dr's and found out after some testing she

was full of stage 4 cancer.  Two months. She had just turned 69 in January.

 

RIP Judy

 


 

 Hug someone a little longer today. You never know when you won't be able to.


22 comments:

  1. Sage advice. Ohio Guy

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  2. One of the fallouts of this "pandemic" is a dramatic rise in undiagnosed cancers / tumors. Last week I read a report of woman who thought she had an infected milk duct - turned out to be an aggressive form of breast cancer. Because of the nature of her disease, and the fact that covid-fear delayed her diagnosis, she's now stage 4, and is likely to be on "maintenance chemo" for her remaining days to keep the tumor remnants in check. She'll never work again and will be a constant drain on "the system" .. political stuff aside, not seeking early treatment for what could have been a much less severe condition caused a major life-altering problem

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    1. I had a stage 2 melanoma removed just prior to the scamdemic, they were all over me about quarterly visists with my dermatologist for full strip down body scans. They must have sent a half a dozen texts e mails and snail mail reminders, then the shut down last March and the urgency dropped to zero. Haven't heard a peep out of them since. I wonder jow many people they have allowed to go un treated for serious conditions while they perpetuated the civid hysteria.

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  3. Tis true you never know how long someone has. And truth be told it could have been worse. Going after two months is infinitely preferable to a year or more of agonizing treatments that don't save you but merely prolong the agony.

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  4. Amen brother....

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  5. Amen to that brother. Mom and brother in their early 50's Dad made it to 80's. Beautiful lady prayers to his family and yours. Beginning to wonder if what Brad says above is a feature not a bug.

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  6. How true, you never know when's the last time you'll get to hug a loved one. Lost my dear wife a year ago - eerily similar story with undetected stage 4 cancer. Never miss an opportunity to tell & show those you love how you feel - it might be your last chance on this Earth.
    "In the midst of life we are in death; of whom may we seek for succour, but of thee, O Lord"

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  7. Mom is a two time cancer survivor. Currently in good health and cancer free*.
    If it comes back, no more treatments, she’s going to book an expensive vacation with her favorite grand-daughters and then keep going forward until she can’t.

    EVERY day is a gift, she tells me.

    Vaya Con Dios, Judy. I hope your family can find solace and joy in your memory.

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  8. My wife passed in her sleep about a year and a half ago. I was fortunate to have family to help with the transformation. It was and still is a shocker.

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  9. Cherish those near you,
    never be the first to break with a friend:
    Care eats him who can no longer
    Open his heart to another.
    The Havamal

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  10. My brother died of colon cancer in 1980 and I miss him every day. My parents were killed in a car crash coming to see me in the hospital after I was hit in the eye by a nail I was driving and wondering if infection would take my eye. You just never know what's around the corner. Turned out my eye, though I lost some of the iris and lost some vision, was saved and the nurse the night my folks were killed and the night the doctor didn't know if the antibiotics would save my eye, ended up being my wife of now 29 years. You just have to keep strokin', folks.

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  11. So sorry for your friend. I recently lost a good friend, former college room mate, and member of our wedding party at the age of 57. He lived a healthy lifestyle and since he was chief check pilot for a major medical helicopter company he had to keep his flight physical up to date. He suddenly had a stroke which was turned out to be caused by stage 4 lung cancer and he never smoked in his life. He fought for 2 years and while I was sitting here recovering from some brutal shoulder surgery last summer he checked into hospice and died shortly thereafter. I was walking down the beach by myself on vacation last week when one of their copters flew past and I had a tough moment but at least he did something good and useful with his life. You never know.

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  12. Life is hard. Guy made to retirement phase and the love of his life is lost. Now what? Internet dating? If this life is all there is to look fwd to it's a rough one for a lot of folks. Prayers offered up for Ray that he will be ok thru the bad things life does to us. Jesus let Ray know you love him. Amen

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  13. I well know the feelings. I lost my Judy10 months ago and I am still recovering. Its a long road to travel. I wish him peace and healing.

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  14. Yup. Learned this at a young age. I was 13 when they told my mother she had lung cancer, and six months to live. They were right. Tomorrow is promised to no one.

    We are diminished.

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  15. I have run across this a few times. Someone just "doesn't feel good," goes to the doc and bam, riddled with cancer. Stress, high blood pressure, and heart disease are often called the silent killers. I guess cancer can be, as well. Prayers to Ray and family and friends. It is never easy and will never be fully over, but time will heal, we hope.

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  16. Mom went like that. Sick on Sunday, home on Wednesday. Took me years to be able to sing hymns I remember her soprano voice singing when I was a pup. I still have a catch if we go more than a verse or two. 1994.... nigh on thirty years....

    Prayers for all you brothers that have lost your love. That's a tough row to hoe.

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  17. We had a close call with my wife 3 years ago with Diverticulitis-she had a rupture in her intestine, causing a roaring infection and almost killed her. Massive amounts of antibiotics, 2 ER visits (first one with an incompetent motherfucker of a "doctor" named Hartsel, but that's another story)3 surgeries, 25% weight loss, & a long convalescence were the outcome.
    Back to normal now, but I've had 2 other friends who weren't so lucky with the same thing.
    Persistent abdominal pain is nothing to treat lightly.
    Prayers & condolences to your friend, Irish.

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  18. I lost my mom to stage 4 lung cancer about 7 years ago. She was diagnosed but kept working, and died 2 years later, at the age of 79. She worked in the restaurant that they sold to a different owner, for the rest of her 2 years of life, save the last 2 months. For her, working was what kept her alive. My dad would get up and take her to work, have coffee with her, at 5:30 AM, then go home and catch a bit more sleep. He was 89 when she died at the age of 79. He died one year later, within 4 days of the same date of her death. He died mostly of a broken heart. They were closer than anyone that I ever have known.
    I still miss them, and some days want to just pick up the phone and call one of them, just to talk with them. When you become an orphan your whole world changes. My condolences to your friend, and to those who knew his wife. It is never easy, you know. No matter how old you get.

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  19. Married 1976-84.
    Cancers.

    Married 2003-09.
    Cancers.

    And yet, we piddle-away our initiative on weapons of war, imaginary injustices, and celebrity adoration.
    I have no answers, but something is wrong with that.

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  20. "Hug someone a little longer today. You never know when you won't be able to."

    Absolutely. In 2011 found my wife of 21 years on the kitchen floor when I went in to make coffee. She had been gone for hours. Not ill, not sick, just boom. None of us know the future and it can have some serious detours with no warning.

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