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Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Next Time You Decide To Give A Woman Driver The Finger.......

 ..you might want to consider this guy's point of view.

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.

'Man, that guy is stupid,' I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.

That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these.

That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.

That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female who has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.
Give her the finger?
I don't think so.



(h/t to chickenmom)

1 comment:

  1. Way back in the 80's when I use to commute 48 miles each way from Hackensack, NJ to Woodbridge, NJ on the NJ Turnpike.

    Same crappy scenario day in and day out 5 lanes in each direction bumper to bumper, but usually going 80+ MPH.

    One day a babe in a 280-Z cut me off. I was pissed and gave her the finger, mouthed the F**KIN A**HOLE words a few times and then calmed down.

    Low and behold a few weeks later the traffic stops dead due to a minor assident. I looked to my left and WHOA here's the same 280-Z with the babe next to me. She looks, smiles and motions I should roll down my window.

    OK, I take the chance. She shouts over: "Sorry about my stupid move" and then tosses a crumpled piece of paper right through my window and it bounces on the floor.

    Traffic begins to move and shortly I got to the office. I don't like messy cars so I picked up what I thought was just a piece of trash she'd tossed and was about to dump it into the garbage when something told me to look closer. I unravelled it and OMFG it said:

    My name is Maria, I live in Bogota (next to Hackensack) and my number is (201) 343-xxxx call me after 6 PM tonight.

    I called and within a week I was banging her sweet ass off.

    ReplyDelete

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