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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Frank Feldman

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.
He gets into the taxi, and the Cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.' 
Passenger: 'Who?'
Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman...He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.' 
Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'

Cabbie: Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy. 
Passenger: Sounds like he was something really special.

Cabbie: 'There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, could do everything right. ' 
Passenger: 'Wow, some guy then.

Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.
He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. 
No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman. 
Passenger: An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?

Cabbie: 'Well...I never actually met Frank. He died........
 and I married his f$*king wife."

H/T to reader Phyllis


  1. Heh! I blasted that across the intermails and interwebs everywhere I could.


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