Paddy's Golf Partner....

Paddy came home after his regular Saturday golf game, and his wife asked why he doesn’t include Sean O’Connor in the games anymore.

Paddy replied “Would you want to play with someone who cheats constantly, swears all the time, lies about his score, and has nothing good to say about anyone else on the course?”

“Of course I wouldn’t,” his wife said.

“Well,” says Paddy, “Neither would Sean O’Connor.”

Understanding The Irish.....

(Language Warning)










H/T to BIGREDKEV across the pond :)

A Skinny Little Irish Guy.....

Skinny little    white Irishman goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy    standing next to him. The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him, he    looks down and says:

'7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds    of testicles, Turner Brown.'

The little white Irishman faints and falls    to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.  

  The big guy says, 'What's wrong with you, little fellow?' 

In a weak voice    the little guy says, 'What EXACTLY did you say to me?'

The big dude    says, 'I saw your curious look and I figured I'd just give you the answers to  

  the questions everyone always asks me -

I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350    pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name    is Turner Brown.' 

Donation...An Irish Story....

Father O' Malley answers the phone.

'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'
'It is'

'This is the Inland Revenue Service, income tax department. Can you help us?'
'I can.'

'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'
'I do'

'Is he a member of your congregation?'
'He is'

'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'
'He will.'

Three Irishmen.........

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. 

'Come have a look over here,' says Paddy, 'It's Michael O' Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87.' 

'That's nothing, 'says Sean, 'here's one named Patrick O' Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died.'
Just then, Seamus yells out, 'Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145!'
'What was his name?' asks Paddy.