John has a granddaughter. Ashley is a recent college grad. She drives a flashy hybrid car, wears all the latest fashions, and loves to go out to nightclubs and restaurants. Ashley campaigned hard for Barack Obama. After the election she made sure her grandfather (and all other republican family members) received a big I told-you-so earful on how the world is going to be a much better place now that her party is taking over.
Having recently lost both roommates, Ashley ran short of cash, and cannot pay the rent (again) on her 3-bedroom townhouse. Like she has done many times in the past, she e-mailed her grandfather asking for some financial help.
Here is his reply:
Sweetheart, I received your request for
assistance. Ashley, you know I love you dearly and I'm sympathetic to your
financial plight. Unfortunately, times have changed.
With the election of President Obama, your grandmother and I have had to set
forth
a bold new economic plan of our own..."The
Ashley Economic Empowerment Plan." Let me
explain.
Your grandmother and I are life-long,
wage-earning tax payers. We have lived a comfortable life, as you know, but we
have never had the fancier things like European
vacations, luxury cars, etc. We have worked hard and were looking forward to
retiring soon.
But the plan has changed. Your president is
raising our personal and business taxes significantly. He says it is so he can
give our hard-earned money to other people. Do you
know what this means, Ashley? It means less for us, so we must cut back on
many
business and personal
expenses.
You know the wonderful receptionist who
worked in my office for more than 23 years? The one who always gave you
candy when you came over to visit? I had to let
her go last week. I can't afford to pay her salary and all of the government
mandated taxes that go with having employees. Your
grandmother will now work 4 days a week to answer phones, take orders and
handle
the books. We will be closed on Fridays and
will lose even more income.
I'm also very sorry to report that your
cousin Frank will no longer be working summers in the warehouse. I called him
at school this morning. He already knows about it and
he's upset because he will have to give up skydiving and his yearly trip to
Greenland to survey the polar
bears.
That's just the business side of things.
Some personal economic effects of Obama's new taxation policies include none
other than you. You
know very well that over the years your grandmother and I have given you
thousands of dollars in cash,
tuition assistance, food, housing, clothing, gifts,
etc., etc. With your vote, you have chosen to help others -- but not at your
expense --
it is unfortunately at our expense. If you
need money now sweetheart, I recommend you call 202-456-1111. That is the
direct phone number for the White House. You can
also contact the White House here: http://www.whitehouse.gov/CONTACT/
You yourself told me how foolish it is to
vote republican. You said Mr. Obama is going to be the people's president, and
is going to help every American live a better
life. Based on everything you've told me, along with all the promises we heard
during the campaign, I'm sure Mr. Obama will be
happy to transfer some stimulus money into your bank account. Have him call me
for
the account number which I memorized years
ago.
Perhaps you can now understand what I've been
saying all my life...those who vote for a president should consider the
impact on the nation as a whole, and not be just
concerned with what they can get for themselves. What Obama supporters don't
seem to realize is all of the money he is
redistributing to illegal aliens and non-taxpaying Americans (the so-called
"less fortunate")
comes from tax-paying
families.
Remember how you told me, "only the richest
of the rich will be affected"? Well guess what, honey? Because we own a
business, your grandmother and I are now considered to
be the richest of the rich. On paper, it might look that way, but in the real
world,
we are far from it. As you said while
campaigning for Obama, some people will have to carry more of the burden so all
of America can prosper. You understand what that means,
right? It means that raising taxes on productive people results in them having
less
money, less money for everything, and sadly
that includes granddaughters.
I'm sorry, Ashley, but the well has run dry.
The free lunches are over. We have no money to give you now. So,
congratulations on your choice for "change." For future
reference, I encourage you to try and add up the total value of the gifts and
cash you have
received from us, just since you went off to
college, and compare it to what you expect to get from Mr. Obama over the next 4
(or 8) years. I have not kept track of it, Ashley,
because it has all truly been the gift of our hearts, but the comparison might
be interesting.
Remember, we love you dearly...but from now
on you'll need to call the number mentioned above. Your "savior" has the money
we would have given to you. Just try to get it
from him.
Good luck,
sweetheart.
Love, Grandpa
Love, Grandpa
I freaking love this.
ReplyDeleteLinked it good sir
ReplyDeleteI've seen this many times before, and I always enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteGoes really well with your "Unintended Consequences" link below.
It's not just grand parents, it's parents as well. A whole generation of young people are finding out that when you make the producers pay more, then the producers have less to give to the ones that they love.
ReplyDeleteI'd rather give the money to my daughter than some woman that I've never met, but the President has made that impossible.