From the book of face HERE. Not my post, just copied since I felt it was worth sharing.
Irish
Men & Aging...As someone who just turned 62, let me tell
you straight up: getting old SUCKS.
The hardest part for me? My mind still thinks I can do the
things I did at 22…hell, even 42.
But reality well my friends...reality says something
different. Usually in the form of sore knees, slower recovery, or the reminder
that time doesn’t care how young you feel inside.
And here’s the kicker aging hits men differently than women,
and it’s almost always framed negatively. Women get “wine nights,” “self-care
Sundays,” and “50 & Fabulous.” We men on the other hand hit 40 and it’s
dad-bod jokes, hairline memes, and the tired “midlife crisis” cliché.
Meanwhile, we’re carrying decades of grind, responsibility,
and the pressure of knowing we don’t get to screw up, not even once, without
paying for it forever.
But here’s the thing: while we may not be as physically
capable as we were, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally? This can be our
time to shine. If we choose to.
Getting older can actually be the best upgrade a man gets:
· Fewer
illusions.
· Clearer
standards.
· A tighter
circle.
· Better
priorities.
You stop auditioning for people who don’t care and don’t
matter and start investing in the ones who do. You finally learn to prioritize
the one person who’s been neglected for decades…YOU!
But we also need to understand that society doesn’t
celebrate that. Instead, it pathologizes it:
· Buy a
bike? “Crisis.”
· Start
lifting again? “Crisis.”
· Change
careers? “Crisis.”
Well here’s a thought, maybe it’s not a crisis at all. Maybe
it’s a man finally steering his own life. If we treated male aging as mastery
instead of malfunction, you’d see fewer men checking out and more stepping up
Less shaming. More respect. Less “grow up, man-child.” More
“good, now go build something.”
For far too long, men have been told to provide while nobody
provides for them. That has to change. And it starts with men prioritizing
themselves.
So tell me: What’s
been the hardest part of aging for you as a man?
And what’s the best upgrade you wouldn’t trade for your 20s?
For me, the hardest part has been my body betraying me. Four rods in my lower back and three fused vertebrae in my neck. Thanks to a great surgeon, I still have almost all of my mobility and can still do all of my hobbies. The second best upgrade, is the knowledge I've gained over the last twenty years. I see problems coming a mile off these days, and can change course or otherwise handle them before they become a mess (most of the time). But the single best upgrade for me, is my second wife. Been married for nine years now, and I can easily say she is the best thing that ever happened to me.
ReplyDeleteI turned 70 this year.
ReplyDelete70. Can you believe it? I can't. But there it is, right there in the mirror, every.dam.morning.
The last chapter of my whole life.
The hardest part?
Not getting any more pussy.
The best part?
Not wanting any more pussy.
I think it was right here on this site earlier this year where I read something about "The clarity that comes from not wanting pussy."
All the money, time and effort I spent over a half century by being led by the snoot over the possibility of "gettin' sum".
Wisdom and experience
ReplyDeleteThe worst parts for me has been that I go from injury to injury, which keeps me from getting things done. I go from throwing out my back to hurting my knee to aggravating my plantar fascitis to bla bla bla. The list of self-induced injuries goes on and on. Then there's the normal age related stuff: dental issues, eyesight issues, prostate exams, that list goes on too.
ReplyDeleteBut the most annoying thing is hurting myself in my sleep. Go to bed fine, wake up with a stiff neck, sore back,aching elbow, etc.
The best part is not caring what anybody else thinks. Except the dear wifey, of course, her's is the only approval I seek. I'm truly comfortable in my own skin. Oh, and I can sit on the porch with a shotgun and yell at people to get off my lawn. 😈
After 10 years of multiple orthopedic surgeries everything was look great for retirement next month. Than, a couple of months ago, I got hit by cancer. Chemo is gonna kill me before the cancer.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wonder if fighting this scourge is worth it.
Loss of stamina. A one day job takes two weeks. The good part of that is I just don’t give a sh&t about it anymore.
ReplyDeleteThe upside is I am out of the rat race living a simple life that I enjoy. Time freedom to learn new skills. With my son’s help I have rebuilt 17 engines over the past five years. A skill I never had. I grow a lot of my own food using no-till gardening -another new skill learned. It’s like being a tumble weed. No schedule. Turned 65 this year and just got my first cell phone. Another new skill learning to use it. It’s all good. Blessings.
Bad part? I agree with Navy; the body betraying me. Degenerative arthritis, diverticulitus (Damn sp), high BP, heart murmur, 3 bulging discs, and the after-effects of a 3 fractured vertebrae; other than that not bad for 60. Worst part-all these damn problems force me to pay attention to myself like I never did before and interact w/Dr's MUCH more than I like.
ReplyDeleteGood part? People constantly underestimating the Old Man they see. See, I started lifting and cardio training 8 yrs ago (should have done that sooner). Now I weigh 170 instead of 245, can deadlift 305, leg-press 335, and bench 185. Again, not bad for 60 :-)
I used to wish that I could go back in time and tell my 17-year-old self "Do this, don't do that, avoid this one like the plague" and such things. Then I came to the realization that I actually like who I am and that I lead a pretty good life.
ReplyDeleteI earned every scar I've got, and each one contributed to the man I am today...especially the deep ones that nobody else can see.
patience is what learned in 75 years
ReplyDelete