1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know
what time it is.
2.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're
wrong.
3.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.
4.
There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5.
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
7.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know
how to get out of my neighborhood.
8.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person
died.
9.
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of
tired.
10. Bad decisions
make good stories.
11. You never know
when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you
just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the
day.
12. Can we all just
agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart
my collection...again.
13. I'm always
slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any
changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes
to.
14. I keep some
people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they
call.
15. I think the
freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with
Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light
than Kay.
17. I wish Google
Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard
time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.
19. How many times is
it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still
didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense
of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from
cutting in at the front.
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
23. The first
testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was
used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their
brain is also important.
I can identify with 17 out of 23. And I was taught how to do #5 by a man.
ReplyDeleteSometimes men are good for something ;)
DeleteCan't argue with nary a one of these, but #22 had the tears rolling. Awesome banner, BTW. Had to look close, but she materialized.
ReplyDeleteGood eyes on the banner!
Delete