A doctor on his morning walk, noticed the old lady pictured above:
She was sitting on her front step smoking a cigarette, so he walked up to her and said, “I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret to long life?”
“I smoke two packs a day,” she said. “Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a quart bottle of Jack Daniels every day, and eat only junk food.
On weekends, I pop pills, have sex, and I don’t exercise at all.
“That is absolutely amazing said the Doctor! How old are you?”
“Forty,” she replied.
this old man turned 100 years old and the local paper sent a reporter out to do a feature on him. The first thing the reporter asked the man was what did he attribute his longevity to? The replied that he had never smoked a cigarette, took a drink of alcohol, nor did he allow himself to get angry and worked up over anything and use profanity. Just then there was the loud commotion in the back of the house where some one was cussing and raising all grades of hell., The old man looked unconcerned as the reporter ask what in the world is going on??? The Old man calmly replied, " Aw thats just daddy, he's gotten drunk again and can't find his cigarettes.
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