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Monday, October 17, 2011

The "Pub" Time Machine and Time Dilation......

We Proved it over the past 5 days.....



It turns out there's a scientific and logical explanation for why people (mostly men) spend so much time in pubs and only get home in the early hours of the mornin'. Now,,the reason for this odd behavior is based on Einstein's famous Relativity Theory.

It works like this:.....

It's a well-known fact that the more you drink, the faster you move. So after about 8 beers (or 4 double Jack's & coke, etc), you're movin' at close to the speed of light, and this is where Einstein enters the picture. According to his Relativity Theory,, anybody moving at, or close to, the speed of light, undergoes Time Dilation, i.e:. time for you in the pub passes slower than for an observer outside the pub.

Complicated calculations have shown that the pub becomes a type of time machine:..- for every half-hour spent inside the pub, something like two hours pass outside the pub. A typical situation is: "OK guys, it's 8 o'clock, I'm gonna' surprise the family and get home early!!",, However,, the moment this person steps outside the pub, the time travel effect is negated by negative radiation from the environment, and he/she then goes:" Why's it so quiet??,,ahh shit!!!,,It's half past fuckin' one!!,,WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED???!!??".,,and the answer, of course is,,,Time Dilation!!

Of course,,I've tried to explain this to the Missus and outside observers, but so far nobody (except Fellow time travelers) have been able or willing to understand the sound Scientific basis of this phenomenon.

4 comments:

  1. I thought I was the only person this happened too

    ReplyDelete
  2. The cubicles where I used to work also suffered from time distortion. I remember looking at the clock every two or three hours and finding that it had only moved five minutes.

    ReplyDelete

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