Thursday, May 3, 2012

TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR SOUTHERN BOY SAY:

Disclaimer... I have always lived in the Northeast so I am not a "Southern Boy". I got this in an email from Tom H. so blame him..hehehhehe

30. When I retire, I'm movin' up north.

29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

28. Duct tape won't fix that.

27. Come to think of it, I'll have a white wine instead of a beer.

26. We don't keep firearms in this house.

25. You can't feed that to the dog.

24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

23. Rastling is fake.

22. We're vegetarians.

21. Do you think my gut is too big?

20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy..

19. Honey, we don't need another dog.

18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?

17. Give me the small bag of barbecue pork rinds.

16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

14. Trim the fat off that steak.

13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

12. The tires on that truck are too big.

11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.

10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

9. My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

7. Checkmate.

6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

4. I don't have a favorite college team.

3. You Guys.

2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:

1. Nope, no more beer for me. I'm driving a whole busload of us down to the re-elect OBAMA rally!

7 comments:

  1. I am a Southern Boy, I can tell you, this is 100% accurate. Except for maybe #11. We have become hi-tek rednecks.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ONE MORE TO ADD---WE ARE OUT OF BEER..

    ReplyDelete
  3. One thing I have never heard here in Mid Missouri is "Please pass the Grey Poupon". That may be a good candidate for that list.

    ReplyDelete
  4. If I ever hear #18, from anyone I call a southern jihad on their ass!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I AM a Southern boy and I can promise you I've never in my life heard anything even remotely resembling anything on this list uttered by folks round here. I think #1 may even earn you an ass whoopin' in these parts.

    Too funny.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Biily Bob, It won't all fit on the C: drive, hence the drives G: through N: and soon to add O: and P:

    ReplyDelete

Leave a comment.. Let me know what you think! :)