Dear Irish,
I found something in my truck that made me concerned. After some internet sleuthing is
appears to be an Apple Airtag.
I did some research and I am fairly confident my Ex may be trying to track me. She probably wants
to see when I die so the life insurance can be collected. What kind of devious shenanigans can
you and the followers come up with? Thanks very much, "Lost in the Ether"
Well "Lost in the Ether" after reading your email a few quick thoughts come to mind. Hold on
whilst I refill my whiskey.....
Now, where was I? oh ya, First off, since you follow this blog, please make sure it's not the fibbers.
We don't want you in jail on trumped up charges.
If it's not the alphabet soup gang, I have a couple quick thoughts:
First, get your own airtag and epoxy it to the airtag you found in your truck. That way you can keep
track of it. Make sure you leave your cell phone at home and drive to a remote truck stop and
find a quick way to leave the Airtags on some cross country rig. Hilarity ensues.
OR
Drive to some place remote, again without your cell phone, and find a ravine with dense vegetation.
Bring a sling shot and launch the package into the wilderness. Hilarity ensues, also.
Maybe the readers will offer up some great ways to mess with Ex.
Any ideas gang?
attach it to a random car at walmart?
ReplyDeletePolice car? (wipe down so no prints on it, wear a covid mask when doing it) or a security company vehicle?
AFAIK, airtag is not non-compliant tracking. It uses nearby iphones and after a couple hours on same phone it notifies the phone that it is being used by airtag. At which time the phoneholder can either refuse to participate, or opt to have the tag begin audible beeping so it can be located. If this hasnt happened its not using your phone to track you.
ReplyDeleteAttach the Airtag to the collar of a wandering cat. Mail the Airtag to a friend in another state, have them mail it to a friend in a different state, and essentially play pass the potato for a couple of weeks, until the last person sends it back to you. At which point, start leaving it stuck under tables at different Starbucks, hide it under shelves at Walmart or some other store, and just essentially make it so that it stays in one place for a few days, in places that you shouldn't be at after they close.
ReplyDeletePut it on the UPS truck when he stops at the neighbors .
ReplyDeleteThe obvious answer is to offer a stripper down at the club $100 to keep it in her car for a couple weeks…
ReplyDeletePackage it up and send it to a friend in Vegas
ReplyDeleteHelium balloons?
ReplyDeleteBiden would have it shot down over the Atlantic.
DeleteAttach it to the ex's car or the ex's boyfriend (if there is one) car.
ReplyDeleteTake it to her sisters house or best friends house and leave it under a rock overnight from time to time.
ReplyDeleteWinner.
Deletesimple. go to a truck stop. find a trucker and explain it to him. (we all have ex's ) and ask if he be willing to pass it along the road. you will find they are more than happy to fuck with her. with any luck, it will cross the states in no time.
ReplyDeletelet her try to track you that way.
one thing. always live at least 5 states away from your ex. change your phone number again. or go with a burner.
very few people have my number these days. and it not in my name either. yeah, my ex says "she still loves me"
after getting married and divorced 3 times after me. no thanks. dave in pa.
Put it on your ex's car is you can do so without being tagged. Should stir up some paranoia on her part.
ReplyDeleteAttend the funeral home viewing for someone you don't know. Slip the air tag inside the coffin.
ReplyDeleteLOL.
DeleteDon't go anywhere without putting the new airtag in a metal container to insure that you can't detect either of them. Take it on a trip to any location with no security cameras. Make sure you don't drive past any security cameras on your way to the dropoff point. Once there, glue them together and attach them.
ReplyDeleteYou don't want your airtag to track along the same route to the dropoff point.
seal it in a bottle and throw it in a river
ReplyDeleteDrop it down a sewer drain.
ReplyDeleteDo a Paddle-to-the-Sea and attach it to an unsinkable toy boat and drop it in a near-by river.
Attach it to a train, or plane.
Attach to a semi-trailer at a truck stop.
Hand it to a lot-lizard at a truck stop.
Get a local fish/wildlife officer to add it to a bird tag or deer tag or moose tag or alligator tag.
Get a hog leg and attach the tag to it and feed it to an alligator. Or wolves. Bonus if you put the leg in a torn-up pants leg.
Go to NYC, put it on the top of the Empire State Building. Or better yet, hide it in an elevator.
Know someone in shipping or commercial fishing? Have them take the tag. Bonus if they drop it off on a float out in the back beyond.
Know someone at SpaceX? Have them add it to the next Falcon9 launch...
Get someone in the DoD to add it to the next shipment to the Ukraine.
Know some outlaw bikers? Have them take it to their rallies and Sturgis.
Know some Mexican Cartel members? Have them include it in their next cash shipment back home.
Capture an illegal alien and insert it under the skin and set it free...
Possibilities are endless, and get more criminal the farther down the list you go.
Hell, make your own 'Chinese Spy Balloon' by buying a weather balloon, making a platform out of highy radar reflective and light metal, add the tag and set it free...
An elevator or Sturgis - those are great ideas!
DeletePut it in the shopping cart of a bag lady…or in the backpack of an illegal.
ReplyDeletePikers.
ReplyDeleteFind the nearest freight rail yard.
Pick a boxcar.
Bon voyage.
This also works with Amtrak passenger service.
Travel one stop, and find a deep, dark spot to stuff it under a seat, or affix on the undercarriage of a passenger car.
Live near Big Muddy?
Wrap it watertight, duct tape the hell out of it onto a piece of driftwood, and send it to Nawlins, the slow way.
If you're feeling frisky, carry it aboard a 737 or such like. You know how infrequently anyone checks those underseat life vest pouches?
Or how many accessible hard-to-see-into teeny tiny spaces you can get to inside an airplane lavatory, in-flight, in under two minutes, armed only with the airtag and a piece of double-sided tape?
There ya go.
The lavatory/underseat/undercarriage trick also works with Greyhound busses.
And semi-trailers.
And rental cars parked overnight.
And U-haul trailers and vehicles.
And amusement park coasters.
And golf carts at public courses.
And rental e-bikes.
And rental paddle boats at the local park.
And any passenger and vehicle ferryboats.
Even homeless dudes' shopping carts full o' crap.
The world is your oyster, friend.
I hear Moscow is nice this time of year, especially along the upper Volga.
ReplyDeleteThrow it in some other car, look for the one with clown rims.
ReplyDeleteEpoxy your own airtag to it and attach it to the bitches boyfriends car.
ReplyDeleteOr
Slingshot it into a junk yard.
Put it on one of her coworkers cars. She’ll think your stalking her at work
ReplyDeleteAnd after the coworker for a few days….a close neighbor
ReplyDeleteFile a police report. My girlfriend had to do that on her ex. He placed trackiing devices 3 different times in her car. But I believe the best solution is to drive to her home and hand it back to her. And tell her the police have been notified.
ReplyDeleteNot as fun as the others, but it should stop that from happening again.
Take it back to her house. Then call her all hours of the night and tell her you’re watching her sleeping.
ReplyDeleteMight not end so well but it’ll fun for a while…
Catfish
ReplyDeleteSo I asked and expert - my wife - and she suggested a porta-pot. You can see what I'm up against.
ReplyDeleteGo to a city with a bike or scooter sharing operation. Attach it under the seat or frame.
ReplyDeleteFind a feral cat. Place a collar on it with the air tag attached. Release it near the ex's home...
ReplyDeleteJust hire an uber or a cab and leave it in there. It will go all over the place.
ReplyDeleteDon't,Don't, DON'T put it on an innocent persons car!!!! The poor soul could find it and freak out thinking the alphabet crew are monitoring them!!
ReplyDeletePut it somewhere where it doen't inflict any concerns on any innocent(ish) people!
irontomflint
If you don't know if it's the Ex or the Feds, safer to bring it to the local police and simply turn it in. If they won't accept it, drop it in the trash there.
ReplyDeletePut it on a 20' shipping container and let it start the round trips between China and the rest of the world.
ReplyDeleteSeems like the most obvious change would be to remove her as a beneficiary from that life insurance policy
ReplyDeleteMy ex would just about be the last person on the planet who I'd have as a beneficiary, just sayin'.
DeleteDid you change the 401K or IRA beneficiary after the divorce?
DeleteWord to the Wise: just went through a huge legal mess concerning the IRA beneficiary vs provisions in the deceased's will-the IRA beneficiary callout trumps whatever your will says (applies to IRAs, not 401Ks). DO NOT think your will has the last word when it comes to IRAs.
DeleteSend it to me. I live in New Zealand and I'll attach it to a sheep, deer, truck or whatever you want. That should confuse whoever is tracking it, eh?
ReplyDeleteIf you have access to a warehouse, attach it to an outbound pallet.
ReplyDeleteThose things get around.
Know a sailor? Buy him a couple of beers, explain the situation, ask him if he’ll help you mess with the ex by carrying it around whenever he’s in port during his next deployment. It’ll disappear for a month or more & then show up in various strange port cities. Bonus if he leaves it in a bar or whorehouse in his last foreign port before he heads back home.
ReplyDeleteWorks for the merchant marine too.
I wish these things has existed back when I was in, I would have advertised this as a side job.
Leaving your phone at home ( or in a faraday bag) have a friend drive you to a hospital and hide it in the ER area. A day or two later take it to a funeral home.
ReplyDeletePut it in a USPS Priority Mail or Fedex or Amazon box and leave it on your front porch for the porch pirates to haul off for you.
ReplyDeletestuff it in a raw chicken and then feed it to a gator, or a shark, if handy...or take it to a zoo and leave it out for the bears...
ReplyDeleteFind a way to get it into FJB's diaper bag
ReplyDeletePut it in her best girlfriend's car
ReplyDelete"Put it in her best girlfriend's car". You won that one right there.
ReplyDeleteThere is a bigger concern here. Do you have anything worth breaking into your place for? Someone may have decided to rob you and they are trying to build a profile of your time away from home to do so. If I were a ctook and wanted to steal a cache of guns or anything else of value and I knew you were dangerous to rob, finding the window of opportunity is essential. Be careful.
ReplyDeleteTake it to the fuzz and file a report. In TX, this is illegal. I know this because the old lady filed papers last week, and they sent me the code where I found out I can't do this. This is low hanging fruit for them. Something they can clear whilst sitting on their ass munching on a donut. Sadly, I also found out that possession isn't 9/10 of the law and I can't change the locks on the house. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go file an answer to the pleading.
ReplyDeleteWrap it in aluminum foil, THEN take it to a truckstop, peel off the foil and tape it to the rig. DO NOT bring your cell phone, leave that in your refrigerator with the door close. Return home, pull out the phone and resume your life.
ReplyDeleteSlit a small hole in the side of a tennis ball, put the tag in and toss it into a river
ReplyDeleteHide it in a taxi. It'll stay around town so she'll think it's you but it will go everywhere.
ReplyDeleteHide it in her dads car.
ReplyDeleteAttach it to something floating, on the outgoing tide, about a mile from the bar. Attach to something sinking if you are sending pedophiles.
ReplyDeleteSee if you can place it on a cop car. Highway Patrol would be best.
ReplyDeleteGo to a party store and buy a big bunch of helium balloons. Get the latex ones, not Mylar. Mylar will burst at modest altitude but latex will stretch a good deal more. Attach it to tied-together balloons and let go.
ReplyDelete