On the third floor, the stranger and I reached the elevator at the same time.
When the door opened an older gentleman stepped out. The stranger and I made way out of etiquette.
The older gentleman had on leather house slippers, cargo shorts and a polo shirt. His hat was worn
and the embroidery said "US Navy, Vietnam Veteran".
As he walked by us he was pointing at the numbered doors to the business condos and saying
the room number out loud. I believe he said '2300' looking around. As the stranger and I
stepped on the elevator, we heard the Veteran say "Oh 3". I held the door and looked out.
He was confused.
I said "Do you need the second floor?"
He smiled and came back on the elevator.
I knew.
As we stood in silence he reached for the panel and saw that '2' had already been pushed by the
stranger.
The doors clunked shut.
I looked at him and said "Thank you for your service".
The stranger acknowledged as well.
The Vet said "You're welcome" with a smile.
The doors opened one floor down and he shuffled out reciting room numbers and pointing as
he went.
I could hear him as the door started to close.
My hand stopped the door and I leaned out. "Are you all set?"
"Yes, Here it is, pointing at where he was going"
The door shut and I said to the stranger, "Sorry about that", meaning I held the door.
He replied "Not a problem at all"
I said "I watched my Dad go through dementia and early alzheimers"
He replied " I completely understand"
It was dusty in the elevator as the doors opened to the lobby.
"Have a good week" I said and he bid me the same.
It's dusty again, here, now.
Somewhere, out there, A Vietnam Vet, someone's Son, Husband, Father, Grandfather, loved one,
is slipping away.
The salt mine calls.
Spend time with your parents. Before you can't.
ReplyDeleteAmen.
DeleteSpend time with your spouse before you can't.
DeleteAfter the last month of just nutty politics and shouting at the TV every time I see Krazy Komrade Kammie, it was nice to read a story that reminds us to be human. Thanks Irish, and sorry again for the loss of your father.
ReplyDeleteWe are damned by our souls and the pain of loss, but if it didn't hurt so much we wouldn't be human.
ReplyDeleteThank you for recreating that touching scene, and for all you did for your dad.
The anonymous commenter said it very well, "Spend time with your parents. Before you can't.".
Blessings.
yeah. walked away from a great woman who I wanted to marry to help take care of my dad. kind of hurts to see them slip away like that. after 2.5 years we had to put him in a home. felt like death. even so, we went to see him every day. used to get up a 4 am and go over and get him up and in the shower, make him eat some real food and not that damn ensure crap. and show up after work to help out mom with him.
Deletehate to say this, but you really do find out who you can count on in your family when something like this happens. guess that why I moved away and don't really talk to them anymore. dave in pa.
Yesterday, having a conversation with friend, I was recalling some past experiences we shared, or so I thought. He said he didn't remember any of them. This guy is 15 years younger than I am. I'm a little concerned.
ReplyDeleteDementia and Alzheimers are bastards, robbing the sufferer and their families of once vibrant people. The afflicted usually don't have a clue of what's wrong and they may be very healthy otherwise. They can live a long time after diagnosis, living in a declining fog of the long past, while not knowing where they are most days of the present.
For family of these sufferers, understanding the sufferer does not realize that their odd behavior is caused by the disease, patience is key. At times, your patience will be sorely tried. Just remember that the person you knew is gone, never to return. The only thing left is the outer shell that housed the loving person from before, animated now by a brain that is decaying every waking moment.
Hope and pray that you or your loved ones are not afflicted with this horror as they grow older.
Nemo
Beautifully poignant and thought provoking. Likely made this old vet’s day…thank you
ReplyDeleteCPGen
Horrible way to go. I have asked to be spared from that but understand His Will be done. I tell young people to go see your parents and old people. Tell them every day you love them because when you can’t you would give all you have for one more visit. Prayers up today for all who come here and Irish and Jeffery
ReplyDeleteI'm going through this right now with my Dad. He's always been a very energetic man, and very stubborn. Like cut off your nose to spite your face kind of stubborn. Plus he most likely always had undiagnosed ADHD or something because all of the stories we tell of him when he was younger and still capable, explain a lot of his behavior at that time. That made the realization that something was seriously wrong with him happen a lot later than normal. Those were the days that would really test your patience. The thing is with some forms of dementia is that it's not like a log floating in the water that slowly gets waterlogged and sinks at a steady rate. It's more like a bobber with a slow leak. Their mental acuity bounces up and down, but gradually the highs and lows keep going lower and lower. I wish I picked up on it sooner, but I don't think he would have listened anyway. It had to get bad enough for him to finally go to the doctor and see what was going on. Right now I look at him, and realize that he's still here, and he still has some of his memories of even a long time ago. But he's a shell of his former self.
ReplyDeleteHe did not deserve this end.
Not somewhere. Its right next door to me. My in laws. My FIL combat veteran (volunteer) Vietnam 77 yrs old. Still with it but slipping and he knows it. Scares and angers him, asks me to promise ill tell him, Im dreading the day I have to take his keys and its coming...
ReplyDeleteMy dad went like that. I am sundowning and I'm afraid you do understand what is happening.
ReplyDeleteits tough, for sure
ReplyDeletemy last visit with my mom consisted of a hospital room and me giving her little sips of water and feeding her tiny spoonsful of soft food, probably just like she did for me as a baby
she was trying to speak, a lot, but none of it was intelligible
even in her poor condition, she had the most stunning blue eyes, i knew they were always there but never realized just how beautiful they were
i had to say goodbye early the next morning and head home, by far the hardest thing i've ever done or may ever do
she passed the following week, on valentines day
i'll forever be grateful that she recognized me & smiled when i got there
My dad was a WW2 vet, small business owner, farmer and rancher, healthy and spry at 80 years old. He was on a tractor plowing wheat ground in July.....3 days later he was dead from a heart attack.....I questioned God as to why? He had so much more time left to spend with his grandsons....so many stories yet to tell, so much more wisdom to impart....
ReplyDeleteNow my father in law, from the same generation as my dad and a veteran of Korea, is in the memory care unit of a home.....I’ve been his daughters husband for 42 years now and when we make our twice weekly visit to see him (80 miles one way) I’ll greet him with “hey Pop how are you today?”.......I can tell by the look on his face that he is trying to remember who I am.....
so sad.....he is just existing......physically he is in good shape and it wouldn’t surprise me if he lives to be 100, trapped inside the shell of a once great man who now can’t remember what he just had for breakfast.....
I now know how blessed we were when my dad passed, healthy till the end, and I pray that the Lord take me the same way....sooner or later, doesn’t matter, I’m ready.......
I remember the last time I saw Mom. She was in hospice with cancer and had dropped to about 80 lb. She wasn't in full control of her faculties and we all knew it. I looked deep into her eyes and told her I'll see you soon. Her eyes got really animated and she looked at me with a clarity I'd never seen in her before. She was memorizing my face, I believe, that or trying to remember who I was. I kissed her on the lips, cheek and forehead and then I had to leave. I couldn't take it. Went outside and bawled like a 3rd grader. She died the next day. I wasn't there for my Dad. I last saw him 3 days before he passed in the hospital. What I wouldn't give for one more hour with either of them.
ReplyDeleteHold your spouse. Hug your kids and tell them you love them at every opportunity because one day that opportunity will slip away.
A moment of kindness helps to make the world a better place, no matter the situation.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing folks. I must have needed this. I love you mother and I sure hope to see you again.
ReplyDelete