When You're Over Seventy...

I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business.

This fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said,

"You're kinda cute.  You gotta phone number?"

I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?  She said,  "Yeah, I got a pen".

I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."

Cost me 6 stitches...but,

When you're over seventy............who cares?

*********

I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of

condoms, please."

Lady Clerk:  "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"

I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."

When you're over seventy............who cares?

***********

I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.  She said, "If

you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look

alright.

I said, if I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there

instead of you.

Cost me a fat lip, but...  When you're over seventy............who cares?

**********

I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a

woman was born just by feeling her breasts.

"Really," she said, "Go on then.. try."

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and

said,  "Come on, what day was I born?

I said, "Yesterday."

Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...  When you're over

seventy............who cares?

 

 

h/t to JB