Yesterday, I headed out to lunch and went through the drive up at the local Dunkin' Donuts
for my cup o' Joe.
Medium hot, one cream only.
Waited for the few cars in front of me.
Paid at the window and received my order.
The cup felt a cooler than usual as I placed it in the holder and proceeded on my way.
Maybe they had turned the pot off by mistake, no biggie, it was warm out but I wasn't
in the mood for iced coffee.
I flipped the little plastic whatchamadingy and took a sip....
My pancreas shit itself.
Gasped it's last dying breath.
I felt it roll over and shrivel up.
I'm not kidding.
The poor little fucker just up and flat lined.
I looked at the label.
Ya, a bit too late but looked none the less....
Who ever customer number 5901 is needs to have their medical insurance canceled and go
to fucking counseling. Read that... now let it sink in.
There was maybe 2 oz. of "Orig Cof" in that fucking cup.
I put it back in the holder and thought about returning but it wasn't worth my time or effort.
When I got back to work, I dumped out the thickened creamed sugar and there
was still a pile of sugar undissolved in the bottom of the cup.
I hope the bastard that got my coffee spit it out all over their windsheild.
I bet their pancreas thanked me. For the moment.
Gadzooks !!!!
ReplyDeleteBe cheaper to just buy a 2# bag and mainline that shit.
ReplyDeleteGravy sakes.... Who could drink that?
ReplyDeleteMe!
DeleteJeebus. I can feel my teeth rotting just reading that.
ReplyDeleteThe RARE times I go to one of those establishments, I get a medium black... PERIOD. The zombies that work there are on autopilot sometimes, and God help them if I have to go back in to the counter to get my coffee made properly.
ReplyDeleteHoly crap. That's like that coffee from Dirty Harry. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSAyz5c3JmM
ReplyDeleteThe fact is one simply cannot hire a competent person anymore. Maybe 10% have a function brain and actually give a shit, but 10% is maximum. Try to call a company about a f'ed up bill. You talk to a machine that gives you 20 different options, none of which apply which transfers you to a machine that does not understand English which puts you on hold forever. Some idiot "manager" decided this was "customer service". Very common today.
ReplyDeleteMost customer service is outsourced to the Third World where companies can pay low wages with no benefits. You get Third World customer service but that doesn't impact the Company's bottom line. You drop them and go to a competitor then they get the folks who dropped the competitors who are doing the same thing.
DeleteGood grief. Not much room for coffee in that cup.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if the person who ordered that has any teeth left after a steady diet of that much sugar.
I bet Karen 5901 shit herself. Me - you drink coffee? Karen - yes. Me - That ain't coffee that is dog shit for 200 pound Karens.
ReplyDeleteIf they wanted a little color in their sugar there's always "Sugar in the Raw", or better yet just skip right to molasses.
ReplyDelete10 sugars? Claim you have diabetes and sue them. Settle out of court for $10grand.
ReplyDeleteWas the coffee house being robbed and someone was asking for help from Harry Callahan?
ReplyDeleteHA HA HA HAAA I wonder how many people caught that?
DeleteJust one of the reasons I avoid drive through for consumables, especially 'custom' orders.
ReplyDeleteJust damn, that looks nasty.
Your order got mixed up with a "bug" on the planet. (MiB reference)
ReplyDeleteOhio Guy
The MiB hint is appreciated.
DeleteI know a CAKE RECIPE that could start with coffee like that!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the suggestion ...
“They fuck you at the drive through”.
ReplyDeleteGotta love Pesci.
Have a good weekend.
Ragnar
10 sugar and 5 cream sounds about right to me. Post-COVID, that is what it takes to taste anything in my cuppa Joe.
ReplyDeletePro tip: doing field service in 3 states while eating McD's and Wendy's for too many times- always check your order before departing the premises. My favorites: 1) "Hey, this chicken is still frozen!" "Oh." 2) "This isn't even close to what I ordered". Manager: "Oh, yeah. I heard you place that order. Huh."
The drive thru is where they pawn off all the unsellable shit they can't sell face to face at the counter cause it'll be brought back.
ReplyDeleteShit they drop on the floor. Piss in the cup, wipe their dick on the bun. Male negro's just cannot keep their hands off their dicks.
The drive-through is the most common form of legalized gambling in the United States.
ReplyDeleteNot a chemist, but can a cup of coffee hold that much sugar in solution.
ReplyDeleteMany years ago, I bought a coffee from a hispanic deli in northern Manhattan. I ordered it with milk. I was watching the guy pour it and he put in six sugars before I stopped him. While he was pouring me another coffee, he implied that I was not normal for wanting my coffee without sugar. I kept that useless information tucked away and pulled it out when reading 5hisnthread.
ReplyDeleteOut of profound respect for Coffee we no longer refer to it as a 'cup of joe'. A certain dipwad in DC has permanently besmirched the use of the name Joe.
ReplyDeleteHow about mornin' cup o' FJB?
Delete