UK teen had to undergo emergency surgery after a bananas attempt to measure his manhood resulted in him getting a USB cable lodged in his urethra.
I wonder how long the poor soul anguished in pain and embarrassment before telling his parents, "I think we may need to go to the Emergency Room".
Yeah, I doubt he was "measuring" his penis.
ReplyDeleteI suspect that's his kink.
As embarrassing as it would be to tell your parents you got something stuck in yourself, it would go to "11" if you told that that it turned you on.
I clicked on this all set to make a snarky comment, belay that as I am doubled over, cringe factor 12.
ReplyDeleteLocal ER called my firehouse once...they needed help removing a metal bushing from around a patient's penis. You just can't make some of this sh*t up!
ReplyDeleteAs you broke out the Jaws of Life, did you tell him "You may feel a little prick"?
DeleteEMT buddy of mine once was helping a nurse with a patient who had slipped a wedding ring around Mr. Happy- for multiple days. Nurse tells the EMT to check for a penile pulse despite Mr. Happy being quite obviously necrotic and ready for Mr. Scalpel. "Folks, don't stick beans your penis or cut off the blood supply for WAY too long."
Was this BEFORE, or AFTER he reproduced?
DeleteA sentence I've never before seen in a serious article: "Don’t stick beans in your penises, folks." WTH is wrong with the human race that someone needs to be given such advice?
ReplyDeleteI've seen x-rays while in school of items inserted where they don't belong. Off the top of my head, a: salt shaker (full- potentially fatal), salsa jar (full but closed), pressurized spray can (helluva way to see the interior spray mechanism), light bulb, ballpoint pen, flower vase.
What, no condoms full of cocaine or fentanyl? Where's the fun in that?!!
DeleteThis was a few years ago before that was popular and besides, it would just look like sh..., er, fecal matter.
ReplyDeleteBut his upload speed was amazing.
ReplyDeleteTrue story. I was swimming in a pool at a hotel. Stopped in the shallow end and got stung on the head of my pecker by a yellow jacket. Thing must have went up my pant leg. I go down to my and its swelling up like a 20oz pop bottle. Go to the emergency room and the doc says"damn that must a hurt." He gives me a shot of benadryl and then says"dont be sticking that thing anywhere for awhile." I looked at him like he was nuts.
ReplyDelete