My Grandmother used to call them Mystery Pains. I didn't what the hell she was talking about until long after she had passed and I hit about forty. They are when you feel fine when you go to bed and wake up to a body part that either hurts or doesn't want to work right. A stiff neck, an elbow that is hurting, back, ankle, hip, knee, whatever. No fucking reason for it other than whatever it is, it started in while you were asleep.
BTW Irish, do you get up and go wake up the fucking chickens in the morning?
The alarm goes off at 5:00. Coffee, internet,b-fast, pack lunch, the three "S's" then 45-50min commute to the Salt Mine. No alarm on the weekend and I still get up at 5:00.
She also used to tell me that if she had known how much it hurt to get old, she'd have never done it. I'm two years older than she was when she finally passed away from a stroke she had right in front of me while we were talking at the kitchen table. Fuck me dude, I'm getting old. No wonder I hurt so damn much all the time.
This is real. Really fucking hard-as-fuck real. Just before Thanksgiving, my dad, 89 years of age, went and took an afternoon nap as was his regular routine. He awoke in agony, having suffered a spontaneous fracture of his 5th lumbar vertebrae. The fix was an out-patient surgical procedure where a two-part medical grade epoxy (think medical grade bondo) was injected around the bone to form a permanent internal cast.
20: "my ankle really hurts"... "what'd you do?"... "I fell off the roof" 60: "my ankle really hurts"... "what'd you do?"... "Guess I slept on it funny"
Friend of mine tore an achilles tendon and had to do bed rest a couple of weeks. Being propped up by pillows caused an already herniated disc to rupture in his neck. Total paralisis. 1-1/2 years later he's still in a wheel chair and very slowly recovering.
somedays you turn off the alarm clock, walk down the hall and it feels like every muscle in your body is in agony and you have ground glass in your joints, and you never know why. you sit down in the gloaming and drink that cup of coffee in absolute peace, and when you get up everything is fine.
when you were in your 50's if you hurt in the morning you knew why. now you don't have a clue. old age sux. oh, sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night like your 18 again and could have sex with 6 chicks at the same time. and sometimes some girl at the supermarket bends over and shows you something better than playboy, and it has no affect on you. weird that
My Grandmother used to call them Mystery Pains.
ReplyDeleteI didn't what the hell she was talking about until long after she had passed and I hit about forty.
They are when you feel fine when you go to bed and wake up to a body part that either hurts or doesn't want to work right. A stiff neck, an elbow that is hurting, back, ankle, hip, knee, whatever. No fucking reason for it other than whatever it is, it started in while you were asleep.
BTW Irish, do you get up and go wake up the fucking chickens in the morning?
The alarm goes off at 5:00. Coffee, internet,b-fast, pack lunch, the three "S's" then 45-50min commute to the Salt Mine. No alarm on the weekend and I still get up at 5:00.
Deleteand Yes, I get those Mystery Pains :)
DeleteShe also used to tell me that if she had known how much it hurt to get old, she'd have never done it.
DeleteI'm two years older than she was when she finally passed away from a stroke she had right in front of me while we were talking at the kitchen table.
Fuck me dude, I'm getting old.
No wonder I hurt so damn much all the time.
ditto to Irish's routine, except I keep trying to stay in bed till 5:30.
DeleteThis is real. Really fucking hard-as-fuck real. Just before Thanksgiving, my dad, 89 years of age, went and took an afternoon nap as was his regular routine. He awoke in agony, having suffered a spontaneous fracture of his 5th lumbar vertebrae. The fix was an out-patient surgical procedure where a two-part medical grade epoxy (think medical grade bondo) was injected around the bone to form a permanent internal cast.
ReplyDeleteThe difference between being 20 and being 60:
ReplyDelete20: "my ankle really hurts"... "what'd you do?"... "I fell off the roof"
60: "my ankle really hurts"... "what'd you do?"... "Guess I slept on it funny"
Friend of mine tore an achilles tendon and had to do bed rest a couple of weeks. Being propped up by pillows caused an already herniated disc to rupture in his neck. Total paralisis. 1-1/2 years later he's still in a wheel chair and very slowly recovering.
ReplyDeletesomedays you turn off the alarm clock, walk down the hall and it feels like every muscle in your body is in agony and you have ground glass in your joints, and you never know why. you sit down in the gloaming and drink that cup of coffee in absolute peace, and when you get up everything is fine.
ReplyDeletewhen you were in your 50's if you hurt in the morning you knew why. now you don't have a clue. old age sux. oh, sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night like your 18 again and could have sex with 6 chicks at the same time. and sometimes some girl at the supermarket bends over and shows you something better than playboy, and it has no affect on you. weird that