Saturday, June 30, 2012
A young cowboy goes off to college.
Half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money.
He calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here that will teach our dog, Ol' Blue how to talk!"
"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1,000," the young cowboy says. "I'll get him in the course." So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.
About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. "So how's Ol' Blue doing son?" his father asks.
"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!"
"Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.
When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. "Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicking back in the recliner and reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, "So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?"
The father exclaimed, "I hope you shot that SOB before he talks to your Mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!"
The kid went on to law school, and now serves in Washington D.C. as a Congressman.
H/T to orbitup
Friday, June 29, 2012
Clocks in Heaven...
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in
front of St. Peter at the
Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks
behind him.
He asked, 'What are all those
clocks?'
St. Peter answered, 'Those are
Lie-Clocks.
Everyone on Earth has a
Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie the hands on your clock
will move.'
'Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock is
that?'
'That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never
moved, indicating that she never told a
lie.'
'Incredible,' said the man. 'And whose clock
is that one?'
St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham
Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his
entire life.'
'Do you have one for President Obama?' asked
the man.
'Yes we do. Obama's clock is in Jesus'
office........
He's using it as a ceiling
fan.'
Thanks to reader Phyllis
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Chief Justice Roberts Is A Genius... Good Read
Reposted from maddmedic
Before you look to do harm to Chief Justice Roberts or his family, it’s important that you think carefully about the meaning – the true nature — of his ruling on Obama-care. The Left will shout that they won, that Obama-care was upheld and all the rest. Let them.
It will be a short-lived celebration.
Here’s what really occurred — payback. Yes, payback for Obama’s numerous, ill-advised and childish insults directed toward SCOTUS.
READ IT ALL HERE
Before you look to do harm to Chief Justice Roberts or his family, it’s important that you think carefully about the meaning – the true nature — of his ruling on Obama-care. The Left will shout that they won, that Obama-care was upheld and all the rest. Let them.
It will be a short-lived celebration.
Here’s what really occurred — payback. Yes, payback for Obama’s numerous, ill-advised and childish insults directed toward SCOTUS.
READ IT ALL HERE
D H S Fail.....
There are a lot of cool things you can do with $1,000, but scientists
at an Austin, Texas college have come across one that is often
overlooked: for less than a grand, how’d you like to hijack a US
government drone?
A group of researchers led by Professor Todd Humphreys from the University of Texas at Austin Radionavigation Laboratory recently succeeded in raising the eyebrows of the US government. With just around $1,000 in parts, Humphreys’ team took control of an unmanned aerial vehicle operated by the US Department of Homeland Security.
After being challenged by his lab, the DHS dared Humphreys’ crew to hack into their drone and take command. Much to their chagrin, they did exactly that.
This link below is very slow to load:
HERE
Try this one:
HERE
A group of researchers led by Professor Todd Humphreys from the University of Texas at Austin Radionavigation Laboratory recently succeeded in raising the eyebrows of the US government. With just around $1,000 in parts, Humphreys’ team took control of an unmanned aerial vehicle operated by the US Department of Homeland Security.
After being challenged by his lab, the DHS dared Humphreys’ crew to hack into their drone and take command. Much to their chagrin, they did exactly that.
This link below is very slow to load:
HERE
Try this one:
HERE
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
A New Hero..
Jackie Whiton was fired from her job for refusing to sell cigarettes to a customer with an EBT cash card.
HERE
HERE
Frank Feldman
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.
He gets into the taxi, and the Cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.'
Passenger: 'Who?'
Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman...He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.'
Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'
Cabbie: Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.
Passenger: Sounds like he was something really special.
Cabbie: 'There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, could do everything right. '
Passenger: 'Wow, some guy then.
Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.
He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake.
No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.
Passenger: An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?
Cabbie: 'Well...I never actually met Frank. He died........
and I married his f$*king wife."
H/T to reader Phyllis
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
A G-Nite Post for The Ladies..... NSFW
MEN...read the title again...I'll wait........
Read it one more time......
Okay..
Click the pic Ladies.... G-Nite....NSFW
Has Anyone Read The "WOOL" Sci-Fi Series??
One of my friends recommended it the other day and I have never heard of it.
Have any of you read it?
Thanks
from wiki:
The story of Wool takes place on a post-apocalyptic Earth. Humanity clings to survival in the Silo, a subterranean city extending hundreds of stories beneath the surface. There is one paramount law within the Silo: never say you want to go outside, for if you do, you will get your wish.
Wool initially follows the story of Holston, the Silo's sheriff. Holston spends the novel processing and investigating the circumstances surrounding his wife's death. Holston's investigation of the Silo and the secrets it holds ultimately serves as a catalyst that begins to impact the lives of various characters and sets up the action for the rest of the series.
Wool 2 continues the saga, this time following the unique relationship of Jahns, the Silo's mayor, and Marnes, the Silo's deputy. Their relationship is explored as they pursue a quest that leads them deeper into the lower levels of the Silo, and ultimately brings them into conflict with the Silo's IT division, whose growing authority is revealed. Their journey ultimately introduces them to Juliette, who will play a central role in the following stories.
Wool 3 through Wool 5 continue the saga, as Juliette continues to explore the mysteries of the Silo, bringing her into contact with the head of IT and Lukas, a young artist. The growing relationship between Lukas and Juliette serve as a backdrop for the remaining three novellas, as the mystery of the Silo is gradually revealed.
Thanks
from wiki:
The story of Wool takes place on a post-apocalyptic Earth. Humanity clings to survival in the Silo, a subterranean city extending hundreds of stories beneath the surface. There is one paramount law within the Silo: never say you want to go outside, for if you do, you will get your wish.
Wool initially follows the story of Holston, the Silo's sheriff. Holston spends the novel processing and investigating the circumstances surrounding his wife's death. Holston's investigation of the Silo and the secrets it holds ultimately serves as a catalyst that begins to impact the lives of various characters and sets up the action for the rest of the series.
Wool 2 continues the saga, this time following the unique relationship of Jahns, the Silo's mayor, and Marnes, the Silo's deputy. Their relationship is explored as they pursue a quest that leads them deeper into the lower levels of the Silo, and ultimately brings them into conflict with the Silo's IT division, whose growing authority is revealed. Their journey ultimately introduces them to Juliette, who will play a central role in the following stories.
Wool 3 through Wool 5 continue the saga, as Juliette continues to explore the mysteries of the Silo, bringing her into contact with the head of IT and Lukas, a young artist. The growing relationship between Lukas and Juliette serve as a backdrop for the remaining three novellas, as the mystery of the Silo is gradually revealed.
Men vs. Women as Friends....
Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends.
None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.
The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends.
None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.
The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.
Monday, June 25, 2012
♫♫ CheckOut This Great New Song..I WANT MY COUNTRY BACK ♫♫
I got this in an email from Jimmy Copens who must read my blog.
Here ya go Jimmy I'm sharing it for you:
If you all like it please feel free to share it as well.
Here ya go Jimmy I'm sharing it for you:
If you all like it please feel free to share it as well.
Metal Handrails....
Metal handrails are designed and built to offer a safe way to climb or descend stairs. They can be made from many different materials ranging from steels , stone, wood, stainless steels and aluminum. They come in many shapes , sizes and forms. Here we have a nice example of structural steel tube that has been formed and welded to the proper specifications for the application at hand:
