California to Texas Translations..................

A Lot of Jobs are Moving From California to Texas

Texas has compiled a "Californian to Texan" translation guide to help in an easy transition......

CALIFORNIA	TEXAS
Racist, Homophobe	Caucasian, Heterosexual
Arsenal of Weapons	Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands	Swamp
Undocumented Worker	Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials	Synthetic Fiber
Assault and Battery	Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed	Well-protected
Narrow-minded	Common Sense
Taxes or Your Fair Share	Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control	Gun Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives	Fireworks for Stump Removal
Nonviable Tissue Mass	Unborn Baby
Equal Access to Opportunity	Socialism
Multicultural Community	High Crime Area
Fairness or Social Progress	Marxist Communism
Upper Class or "The Rich "	Self-Employed, Successful
Progressive, Change	Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged	Bums or Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle	Scoped Deer Rifle
Investment For the Future	New Taxes, Tax Increases, more Debt
Healthcare Reform	Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater	Conservative
Truants	Homeschoolers
Victim or Oppressed	Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
High Capacity Magazine	Standard Capacity Magazine
Religious Zealot	Church-goer
Reintroduced Wolves	Sheep and Deer Killers
Fair Trade Coffee	Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich "	Employers or Land Owners
The Gun Lobby	NRA Members
Assault Weapon	Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
Fiscal Stimulus	New Taxes, Tax Increases, more Debt
Same Sex Marriage	Legalized Perversion
Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting	Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs