One day the Lone Ranger had to piss, so he dismounted from Silver and walked over to a bush, where he unzipped his fly and pulled his penis out, and began to piss. A rattlesnake was hiding in the bush and, being struck by the urine, retaliated by biting the Lone Ranger on the tip of his penis. The Lone Ranger fell back and screamed as the venom began working.
"Tonto!" the Lone Ranger shouted. Ride into town and get the doctor! Hurry!"
"Yes, Kemosabe," said Tonto, and mounting Scout, he galloped into town. He pulled up in front of the doctor's house and ran to the door, where he pounded on it until the doctor answered.
"Doctor, you come quick, Lone Ranger is bitten by snake!" he told the doctor.
"I can't, Tonto, I'm inside delivering a baby," replied the doctor. "Here's what you do, though: go back to the Lone Ranger and cut an X across each fang mark with your knife and then suck out the poison."
Tonto, frowning, got back on Scout and galloped back to the camp. When he got there the Lone Ranger was writhing on the ground in pain, clutching his penis, which had turned purple and swollen to the size of a club. Tonto walked over to the Lone Ranger and looked down at him, still frowning.
"Tonto!" gasped the Lone Ranger. "Where's the doctor? What did he say?"
Tonto, still frowning, looking at the Lone Ranger's penis and remembering the doctor's instructions, replied, "Doctor busy delivering baby, Kemosabe. Him say you gonna die!"
Reminds me of the Lone Ranger snakebite joke:
ReplyDeleteOne day the Lone Ranger had to piss, so he dismounted from Silver and walked over to a bush, where he unzipped his fly and pulled his penis out, and began to piss. A rattlesnake was hiding in the bush and, being struck by the urine, retaliated by biting the Lone Ranger on the tip of his penis. The Lone Ranger fell back and screamed as the venom began working.
"Tonto!" the Lone Ranger shouted. Ride into town and get the doctor! Hurry!"
"Yes, Kemosabe," said Tonto, and mounting Scout, he galloped into town. He pulled up in front of the doctor's house and ran to the door, where he pounded on it until the doctor answered.
"Doctor, you come quick, Lone Ranger is bitten by snake!" he told the doctor.
"I can't, Tonto, I'm inside delivering a baby," replied the doctor. "Here's what you do, though: go back to the Lone Ranger and cut an X across each fang mark with your knife and then suck out the poison."
Tonto, frowning, got back on Scout and galloped back to the camp. When he got there the Lone Ranger was writhing on the ground in pain, clutching his penis, which had turned purple and swollen to the size of a club. Tonto walked over to the Lone Ranger and looked down at him, still frowning.
"Tonto!" gasped the Lone Ranger. "Where's the doctor? What did he say?"
Tonto, still frowning, looking at the Lone Ranger's penis and remembering the doctor's instructions, replied, "Doctor busy delivering baby, Kemosabe. Him say you gonna die!"