Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Nanny State Government Makes Brewers Add Warning Labels

 Liquor manufacturers have accepted the government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:










WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your bra and panties.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
over and over again that you love them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting
your ass kicked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may mack you tink you kan tpye reel
gode.

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