Thursday, December 22, 2011

So Cute and Funny "Daddy said OH-OH, Mommy said AH-AH"

4 comments:

  1. Wonder how many people she tells about this :)

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  2. stopsign, I can only imagine the story. Most of us have been in this situation :)

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  3. My daughter was VERY precocious.
    She was ~3 and walked in on me getting dressed. I was wearing "bikini-briefs" the (then) wife had bought me.

    Kid strolled in, yakking a mile a minute (as usual) then stopped in her tracks, bug-eyed...

    "HEY!..." she said, pointing...

    "...'Doze are MAW-ME's Unda-way-yarz!"

    I tried explaining, but she was having NONE of it!

    "Nuh-UH! Boyz Undah-way-yarz have 'dat 'FING in 'da Fwunt! 'Doze Undah-way-yarz don't have 'dat 'fing!

    'DOZE.ARE.MAW-ME'S.UNDAH-WAY-YARZ!!!

    WHY ARE YOU WEARING MAW-ME'S UNDAH-WAY-YARZ??!!??"

    I literally took her to wal-mart, to the men's department, and SHOWED her that they were, indeed, DADDY's "Undah-way-yarz", and the matter was dropped.

    A few weeks later, we took her to Sunday School as usual. To the old-school, Southern, "holiness" Baptist Sunday School...

    Her teacher - "Miss Amy" - was the Associate Pastor's wife, a woman so prim and proper I truly believe she'd have died before passing gas, even if completely alone.

    My sweet little girl bounced into her room, yakking a mile a minute (as usual) with the volume set to "11" (as usual) and spotted Miss Amy -- whereupon she stopped mid-sentence about whatever she'd been yakking about and said:

    "HI MISS AMY!"
    (Hi Kiddy)
    "Guess What, Miss Amy?!"
    (What, Kiddy?)
    "MY DADDY WEARS MY MOMMY'S UNDAH-WAY-YARZ!!"

    All Miss Amy could say was the world's most prim and proper, quiet little

    "Oh!"

    I didn't even bother trying to explain...

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  4. 3 LITTLE BLACK BOYS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE CENTRAL PARK IN NEW YORK CITY WHEN THEY HEARD A LOT OF COMMOTION IN THE WEEDS. THEY INVESTIGATED AND FOUND THAT IT WAS A POLICE MAN ON DUTY HAVING SEX WITH A WOMAN. THEY THOUGHT THAT IT WAS THERE CIVIC DUTY TO TURN THE COP IN FOR DOING SUCH A THING WHILE ON DUTY. SO THEY DID. A TRIAL DATE WAS SET AND THE 3 BLACK BOYS SHOWED UP TO TESTIFY.


    THE JUDGE CALLED THE FIRST LITTLE BOY UP AND SAID TO HIM


    ''' WHAT DID YOU SEE THE POLICEMAN DOING IN THE PARK '''


    THE LITTLE BOY ANSWERED


    ''' THEY WERE FUCKING SIR '''


    THE JUDGE SLAMMED HIS GAVEL DOWN AND SAID


    ''' I FINE YOU $5.00 FOR CONTEMPT OF COURT '''


    THE JUDGE THEN CALLED THE SECOND LITTLE BOY UP AND SAID


    ''' WHAT DID YOU SEE THE POLICEMAN DOING IN THE PARK '''


    THE LITTLE BOY ANSWERED


    ''' THEY WERE FUCKING SIR '''


    THE JUDGE SLAMMED HIS GAVEL DOWN AND SAID


    ''' I FINE YOU $5.00 FOR CONTEMPT OF COURT '''


    THE THIRD LITTLE BOY WAS CALLED UP TO TESTIFY AND ON THE WAY UP TO DO SO HE GOT TO THINKING THAT HE DIDN'T HAVE THE $5.00 TO PAY FOR CONTEMPT OF COURT AND WONDERED WHAT HE'D SAY.


    THE JUDGE THEN ASK THE THIRD BOY


    ''' WHAT DID YOU SEE THE POLICEMAN DOING IN THE PARK '''


    THE THIRD BOY THOUGHT FOR A WHILE AND REPLIED


    ''' THERE WERE 10 TOES UP. THERE WERE 10 TOES DOWN. THERE WERE 2 BLACK ASSES GOING ROUND AND ROUND. A BIG BLACK PECKER GOING OUT AND IN. IF THAT AINT FUCKING THEN FINE ME TEN '''



    CASE CLOSED

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